Conflicting perspectives
Earlier this year I decided to make a radical change in my life and live far from the city life to a place not far from the beach, not far from the mountains and surrounded by beautiful countryside and above all more “human” people.
This move caused a bit of a “punch in the stomach” feeling initially. Moving alone to a place far from the city I’ve called home for all my life and settling in a place I didn’t knew anything and no one, was a bit of a risk many people simply don’t take.
Fortunately I am a person that makes conversation with others rather easily and I quickly started making new acquaintances.
So far 99.9% have been positive, people are happy and interested to talk to someone new and share knowledge and experiences but one person in particular had a very strong opinion that lead to an educated confrontation.
This person is a professional psychologist and so I was completely opened to what she had to say but the more I listed the more I realized her perspective of what my choices were, was completely off, and backed by some psychology studies that had nothing to do with myself.
Although I believe that for some the claims about isolation, fatigue and increased mental demands of working from home are true, for me it’s not and I have the medical data to prove it.
Back in 2019, before the Covid-19 pandemic I would usually commute around 2 hours per day to work and back home, change clothes, go to the gym 2 to 3 times per week, get back home, have dinner and usually sit and rest until going to bed. Sometimes I would go out to meet friends and out for dinner. It was a happy, social fulfilled life.
My tests showed my health was good except for cholesterol. At 37 my body didn’t feel that old and, according to my nutritionist my metabolic age at 37 was of a 31 year old person.
With the pandemic we were all forced to be more isolated, more restrained and many people were not ready to deal with that.
But for some people, me included, it was the perfect chance to prove what I have been saying since 2017.
Productivity increased and for most of us the opportunity to work free from distractions allowed us to work faster, have more free time for our own private and family life.
By August 2020 I was feeling full of energy and healthier than ever. My job was going great with me being able to constantly produce above expectations and becoming a top performance developer.
With time passing by I started questioning about more meaningful questions, mostly about how I want to live my life and what I want it to look like.
After more than a year constantly searching and reading and researching I made the move.
I moved to a village in the countryside, not too far from the city, not far from the beach but isolated from everyone I know and in a place I don’t know at all.
I know most of you would never make this move but I find this so thrilling and exciting being in a place full of new faces and new places to discover.
I’m surrounded by nature, I walk about 8 miles everyday just for fun. I go to a fully equipped gym, with nutritionist and physiotherapist and the cost if less than half from where I used to live.
Remember when I said at 37 my metabolism was of a 31 year old person? I went for an appointment with my nutritionist this week and the same test showed that at 39 my metabolism is of a 24 year old person and my overall cholesterol levels are down from 274 to 202. The lowest I’ve ever had until now was 246.
I feel happy, I feel motivated and even started collecting productivity bonus at work for over achieving.
But it’s undeniable that isolation can cause depression and anxiety and we need to be on the look out for the signals.
It’s important that you are in a place of peace before making bold or dramatic changes in your life like the one I made.
We need to focus on working in knowing ourselves. Know our triggers and our breaking points and realize how we can cope with them. Not fix them, we are not a bone to be broke, we need to adapt and adjust in our own terms.
By living your own life in your own terms will make it easier for your to make challenging decisions regarding your life.
The person I mentioned before refused to accept my perspective about my own life and I realize her strong opinion comes from her own unique perspective in her professional field and backed by studies made on other people, not me.
I tell the story differently and although I respectfully listened and even researched about what she said, it was clear she was not open to a different perspective and became what I consider a toxic person, some one that does not add and tries to subtract from my life.
Fortunately I am in a place in my life where I don’t allow for toxic people to fill a space where someone that actually adds something good to my life can be placed.
You have a unique perspective on how you see and understand the world and don’t need to question it simply because others do so. Your own way of seeing things might not be the same as others but it doesn’t mean it’s not correct.
Here’s a clear example:
Some people see a circle, others see a square, others see abstract forms.
If you ask 4 people around the shape above about what they see, all the answer will be correct. But for someone with a closed mind that only accepts what they see, it will be hard to understand the other person is looking at the same object but seeing a completely different shape.
Neither of them is incorrect but one chooses to accept only their perspective will struggle to accept the same object can be view in different ways by different people.
So don’t close your mind. Accept and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Try to learn from their unique perspective.
And if you need to make decisions about your life, think of building your surroundings with what brings you joy and fulfillment and remove as much clutter as you can. From my own experience, making big changes in your life will become much easier.
