It’s your life… but is it really yours?
By the end of 2019 I had two consecutive traumatic events that completely changed the paradigm of my life. Apparently it wasn’t enough and in March 2020 Covid-19 devastated the world forcing us completely change the way we lived up until that moment.
Since November 2019 I’ve been living in the most expensive city of my country because of my job. It’s near, it’s convenient but I’ve been working from home for the past 2 years. So I started questioning why do I subject myself to living here?
I reasoned with myself against change by saying
“someday they’ll call us back to the office”
or
“I don’t want to lose my job”
or even
“all my friends are here”.
Around October 2021 I started feeling my live was no longer made sense. I struggled to understand what was gong to, I was having a growing feeling that I don’t belong in this place.
I really struggled to understand and spend almost the remaining of 2021 trying to understand what was happening and what I could do.
And at that moment I questioned myself, am I living a life of my own? Do I own my life?
After two months looking back at my life for the past 2 years I realized I was living a life I did not own. A life where I conditioned myself because of my job, my friends, my fears. I was conditioning my own personal freedom because of my surroundings.
How many of us are living a life we don’t love because of convenience, allowing others to impose their wishes above ours, conditioning ourselves by living less than what we idealize? Even worse, why do we accept it?
It’s these questions I’ve been making myself for the past month and half and now in 2022 I decided to take the risk.
I made a move that didn’t allow me to backup without having a strong consequence to that action. I wanted to force me to not backdown no matter what so I went ahead and put all my money down and gave the down payment on a house. I’m moving!
I’m moving to a place two hours away from where I currently live, two hours away my family and friends, to hours away from my office back in January 2020. I’m moving to a place where I don’t know anyone or anything. A place that made me feel in love. The only place that made me feel in love for the past two years.
I’m taking a risk to own my life. I stopped allowing my surroundings to prevent me from living a life I love.
It’s not an easy move for me by all means. I had moments where I felt my stomach contracting when I think that I can lose my job while having my mortgage, car payments and house bills to pay, not having friends to hang out and how will I adapt from living in a big city to a smaller town.
Despite all this I can’t stop feeling excited. Excited because I started owning my life and it’s an amazing feeling.
So, please ask yourself, do you own your life?
