A Letter to My Bishop
Kyle Wyman, a friend from seminary, sent this letter to his bishop in light of the recent General Conference in St Louis. After reading his letter I asked if I could share it as I believe it offers a perspective on the current situation in our church that provides a voice unlike any I can provide on my own. The letter is unchanged from how it was sent to me and reads as follows.
To the Bishop of Eastern Pennsylvania Annual Conference, its members, and the church at large,
It is with a broken heart I must inform you of my departure from the United Methodist Church. I hereby terminate my membership in this conference and in this denomination, effective immediately. I grieve this decision to leave the place that has been my spiritual home since I was 12 years old, but I feel it is the right one. Due to the events of the past week, I can no longer in good conscience retain membership in this institution.
For years, the United Methodist Church has grappled with the question of how to respond to the social recognition and acceptance of different aspects of human sexuality. While there have been GLBTQ people since the dawn of human existence, it has not been until the last 60 years that our society has begun to recognize, tolerate, and grow to accept the expression of human sexuality beyond what was considered its “normative” expression in heterosexuality. As such, this debate moved into the religious sphere, with different Christian denominations struggling to define their own response to this emergent social debate. In the United Methodist Church, we have debated how our Christian faith defines human sexuality and God-given sexual desires. Is heterosexuality the only true expression of human sexuality, with other forms like homosexuality and bisexuality being disordered and sinful ones? Or does our reason and cultural context help us better understand a spectrum of sexual expression, many of which are natural, God-given, and appropriate?
We have become polarized by these questions, with some members of our church feeling that other forms of human sexuality are sinful and abominable while others feel that they are natural, normal, and just as acceptable to God as heterosexuality. I have long held a keen interest in this debate, one fueled by my own values, beliefs, and perspectives on human nature. As we have grown increasingly polarized, the two sides have become increasingly acrimonious, utilizing dirty tricks, bribery, hurtful language, homophobia, and even violence towards one another so that their side may “win” the argument. I have grieved the loss of our ability to listen to one another in love and to discuss these issues with a sense of compassion and mutual respect.
Three years ago, the delegates of the 2016 General Conference pleaded with the Council of Bishops to provide leadership through this quagmire. Their decision was disappointing, to say the least. Instead of responding prayerfully and boldly to this request, creating a plan that would firmly set our path on the future, they instead deferred the question to a special commission known as “the Way Forward.” I was angered and troubled by this tepid response to our denomination’s collective cry for leadership, for I knew that it would lead to the inevitable fracturing and schism of this church. To spend millions of dollars and countless hours on creating a committee that would attempt to do the same thing three years into the future that the General Conference failed to do so in the present was insensible to me. My only hope was that this commission would find actually find a way forward for everyone that would allow for unity in the body while still allowing for freedom of conscience and personal expression.
Unsurprisingly, the One Church Plan was introduced to the special session of General Conference and was endorsed by the Council of Bishops and many others in the church. For days, the Conference wrangled over the plans presented for the future of the church. Both sides of the debate, and those in the middle, attempted to introduce amendments to modify or change the plan. Bickering and arguing occurred on the floor of the conference. Harmful language and antiquated tropes about the GLBTQ community were utilized. There were even allegations of bribery in that one side had attempted to offer money and gifts in exchange for votes for their cause. At the end of the conference, the Traditionalist Plan was approved by a slim majority in a victory that only made one side happy, and left the rest of us feeling lost, abandoned, and betrayed.
This special session of General Conference approved a plan that is largely unconstitutional according to the Book of Discipline and the ruling of the Judicial Council. Despite this, it was still approved and allowed to be presented to the body for debate and ratification. And while many of the minutiae of the plan will be stripped away, the core of what remains still defines our denomination as a place where GLBTQ people are neither welcomed nor accepted. What is more, despite the church being nearly evenly divided on this issue, it does not respect the freedom of conscience and personal expression that is appropriate for each jurisdiction’s context. Even if the entire Traditionalist plan was stripped away, we would still be back to where we were three years ago, mired in the same position of acrimonious polarity. Hardly “the Way Forward” we were promised by church leadership. What this special session represents is failure; it represents a failure of leadership and a failure to listen.
As such, I can no longer continue to be a member of the United Methodist Church in good conscience. I have waited for my denomination to, if not accept and affirm my GLBTQ brothers and sisters, at least prepare a way forward where individual churches, conferences, and jurisdictions could make decisions according to their own context and conscience. I was deeply disappointed. I have continually been disappointed and heartbroken by the church’s inability to love and accept people who express love differently from us.
I believe in the Quadrilateral. I could take us through every Scriptural argument made about homosexuality, offering hermeneutics to explain how it meets with the Spirit of God. I could describe how our tradition has consistently failed to take bold stances on social issues despite the societal shift to recognize they are wrong. I could cite ecstatic experience, and how I have witnessed some of my GLBTQ brothers and sisters more filled with the Holy Spirit and love than I could ever hope to be. Instead, I would like to focus on reason for a moment.
I am leaving this denomination not only because I feel it no longer reflects my values or religious beliefs, but as a licensed professional therapist, I cannot abide the use of false, erroneous, pseudo-scientific arguments regarding human sexuality utilized by many in the church to propagate the false notion that homosexuality is not only sinful, but harmful and dangerous to the moral/ethical fabric of our society. It is sad that I must remind the church that the American Psychological Association removed homosexuality from its list of sexually deviant behaviors in 1982, and its classification of the experience of gender dysphoria as a psychological disorder from the DSM-5 in 2013. I am equally troubled by arguments I have heard that same-sex couples cannot provide a safe and loving home for children as they fail to meet traditional gender roles. Research, and basic common sense, has proven this to be demonstrably false.
At the crux of these arguments is a coded homophobia that does not respect any GLBTQ person as someone of value and sacred worth. I have GLBTQ colleagues. I treat GLBTQ clients. I have GLBTQ friends. How can I witness the love of Jesus Christ to them while being part of a community that has just loudly affirmed to the world that it does not welcome them and, in fact, deems them repugnant and immoral? It not only hurts my heart as a Christian, but it offends my sense of reason and empathetic regard as a clinician working in the field of mental health.
The truth is that love is love is love. God knows it and so do I. As a young adult, I fear what this decision means for the future not only of the UMC, but of the church in North America as a whole. We consistently witness leadership that is timid, that refuses boldness in favor of the status quo. We deny leadership to those young people who hold the future in their hands. We ignore pressing social issues. We ignore the destruction of our planet through global warming/climate change. Our failure to address the debate of human sexuality, for me, is emblematic of our inability to stay attuned to the problems facing our world and the social, intellectual, and scientific developments happening in it. A church that is either unwilling or unable to engage with the world on issues of economic equality, environmental stewardship, and social justice is no church at all.
I write this letter with a broken heart. The United Methodist Church has been my spiritual home through all my wanderings since I was confirmed at Elam UMC at age 12. I attended a United Methodist Church in college and currently retain my membership there. I attended a United Methodist seminary and was even at one point a candidate for ordination in this Annual Conference. However, I can no longer stand in worship with this denomination while it burns in my conscience that the people called Methodists have declared one group of people as less than worthy of God’s love. As such, I request that my membership in this denomination be terminated, effective immediately.
A friend from seminary posted this verse in his blog along with his own ruminations on the events of last week: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” -2 Timothy 1:7. If I may be so bold, I wish to end with a verse from the Bible that I think also speaks to my hope as well: “I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.” –Ephesians 4:1–6.
Grace, Peace, and Farewell,
Kyle Wyman, M.Div., LSW
