Southern Hospitality
As a kid I’d watch movies or hear people say the words, “that’s southern hospitality.” This meant in the south people had a different kind of natural kindness to them. It could be small gestures like holding the door open for others, to bigger gestures like paying it forward. Although I knew what it meant, I never believed it was a real thing. These acts of kindness were normal to me and I always assumed everyone did them. This was until I moved away from Texas in 2016 to Arizona for school.
When I first settled in to my new dorm, 1,100 miles away from home, I felt excited for the start of my journey. However, as I became more aware of my new surroundings I became extremely homesick.
I began to notice things like people not saying ‘thank you’ or holding the door open when I was walking behind them. It seemed as if everyone was just in a bubble in their own world. I called my mom everyday and nearly cried to her of how much I missed Texas. She explained to me that what I was experiencing was known as “culture shock.” Because I was now living in the west coast, the culture was different to the southern hospitality I had grown up around. But little did I know this would be the first of many more challenges I’d face while continuously making the decision to live away from home.
After the fall semester of my sophomore year, I visited Texas for the Christmas break. On my fourth day of being home, my grandma woke me up at 7 a.m. complaining of her head hurting. Two hours later my life was flipping upside down. My grandma was being life-flighted by helicopter to the hospital in downtown Houston. She suffered a brain hemorrhage and never fully recovered. Six days after being in the Intensive Care Unit, she had a stroke; which led to effects like dementia and vision problems. After sleeping day-in and day-out in a chair next to her hospital bed, I had trouble returning to ASU for my spring semester. Once my spring semester finished I moved home for the summer and stayed for the next fall semester. I took classes online to stay on-track with my degree but I couldn’t convince myself to move back to Arizona.
The spring of 2019 rolled around and I knew it was time for me to return to Arizona and finish out school. I stayed during the summer to complete an internship and during this time I received the most devastating phone call I could imagine.
My best friend since a little girl was gaining her angel wings and it was time for me to go home and say my goodbye.
This has been the hardest time for me and mostly because it’s made me question if moving away for school was really worth it. I find myself wishing I had stayed home and made a million more memories with her. But I know even with a million more that still wouldn’t have been enough.
Now here I am, a senior graduating in less than two weeks. I reflect on all of my time here in Arizona and my initial choice to move out-of-state for school. I’ve come to the conclusion that while I did move to Arizona for me, I’ll be crossing the graduation stage for my grandma.
When I was in elementary my grandma took me to school every morning. Then, when I started in middle school she continued this routine except she started to stop at Subway every morning to get me a sandwich for lunch. Once I started high school the Subway changed to donuts but there she was, still driving me. When I forgot my uniform for my volleyball or softball games, there was my grandma bringing it to the school. When I needed to visit the doctor and have a ‘guardian’ with me, there she was signing the papers. A time came, however, when I no longer needed her to drive me to school or take me to the doctor; but, I still needed my best friend.
Moving away from home initially was a scary but exciting decision. I had no idea the rollercoaster of a ride it’d be. From the smallest problems like adapting to the culture in Arizona to bigger problems like losing my grandma; my answer if it was worth it moving out-of-state is yes.
I’ve learned the true meaning of never taking a day for granted and because of the challenges I’ve overcome while being away from home, I value every bit of good and bad days.
