Moral Integrity & Ethics — Generosity
When we talk about moral integrity and ethics, thinking about generosity comes very quickly to my mind, as it was inherent in my mother’s way of being and living.
“Generosity:
the quality of being kind and generous.
“I was overwhelmed by the generosity of friends and neighbours”
synonyms:liberality, lavishness, magnanimity, munificence, openhandedness, free-handedness, unselfishness; More
- the quality or fact of being plentiful or large.
- “diners certainly cannot complain about the generosity of portions”
- synonyms:abundance, plentifulness, copiousness, lavishness, liberality, largeness
- “the generosity of the food portions””
(Google Search, April 5th, 2018)
During my studies into the Andean Quero tradition, I discovered a more expansive view of generosity:
“Ayni is a central theme of the Andean way. It manifests as a mutal sharing, respect, and understanding of the needs of others. Without Ayni there is no renewal cycle.
By reciprocating all the good that comes to you from others, nature and the spirit world, you become more benevolent. In doing so, the circle of life is complete.” The Andean Codex: Adventures and Initiations among the Peruvian shamans.
In my later years, I also discovered an indigenous tradition from the Himalayas that predates buddhism, where Generosity is valued as one of Ten Great Perfections — not only as a practice towards personal liberation, but also anti-dote to the mistakes you will naturally make as a human being.
Generosity is not altruism nor is it “abundance thinking”
What I learned from my mother is that generosity is a simple act of open heartedness — a spontaneous stepping up to help others with your time, your presence, your willingness to listen, you money, your knowledge…. your self.
Poppie Botha was a soft hearted and deeply generous person, very much like my great-grandmother with whom she grew up with.
We lived with little financial means, and yet she spent all her free time and the little money she had to help people who had problems in life.
In our community most people were struggling financially, and with that also came other social problems. My mother was always there stepping up in the most practical way.
She loved teaching, and with her passion for uplifting people, she spend every weekend and school vacation as a dedicated and amazingly good leader of our church’s Sunday School.
She planned each week’s songs and class curriculum carefully, and would continue to practice the songs and lessons for all the different ages for children during the week (she was also the “song master”).
My mother was such natural with it all, that her skills were mostly unnoticed, except that going to Sunday school was something everyone looked forward to — parents would often bring their children to the school but not always attend the church service afterward.
The Sunday School became a safe space for children and parents because of her intentional efforts based on her deep belief that people will change once they experience what caring really is about. Deeds, not words, was how she lived her life.
With this, our family life had purpose. Growing up we were encouraged to be role models for being good people. Our lives revolved around learning to never look down at others, and using all your talents towards helping.
My mother was my beacon for spiritual truth.
Generous acts are not altruism or philanthropy. True ayni originates from a deep personal experience which brings about a fire inside: often of a promise that no-one else ever should have to experience struggle or injustice again.
Combine this with an practical intelligence, knowledge and understanding that you can use your limited means and the worlds’ often-rigid boundaries for joyful effort while nourishing your own soul and that of others.
This generosity is also unconditional — My mother never expected anything in return. What makes her work so remarkable is that we never had holes in our clothes nor missing buttons, we ate wholesome food, our house was spotless and clean. Other relatives were always housed with hospitality and welcomed, and holidays with friends included baking enough rusks and biscuits to share with stranger’s children — after all, she knew it is easy to make instant holiday friends this way.
Above all we always knew she loved and supported us in everything we wanted to achieve. This includes driving me to piano and ballet classes almost every each day, while sitting in her car working and waiting to take me home again.
The most important habit that was ingrained in me through her example, was to always try and see the good in other people. Her lived philosophy was most people act in bad ways not because they are inherently bad people (although there were a few people she did think were truly evil and unsalvageable) but because they were just ignorant of some of their own imposed constraints or overwhelmed by life, to make good decisions.
Another quality inherent in her generosity, was to be a non-punitive person. Harsh punishment and exclusion of people because of their mistakes bothered her a lot, and she made a point of befriending those who were shunned because of others’ judgements.
All of this while she struggled with the challenges of a very fragile health.
My mother died unexpectedly when I was 24. Like all such events, it shook the foundations of my world, and I made a decision to live a life that she would be proud of.
Reflections
What inherent qualities of virtue and moral integrity come naturally to you?
How can we incorporate generosity (including reciprocity) into the digital economy in a way that we create a world that is much better than what we inherited?
#lessons-from-mom #moralintegrity #generosity #reciprocity #token-design #inclusive-society #regenerative-cultures
Note: I wrote this on my birthday, and refined it on my mother’s birthday.
