Writing on Medium and Business at all Means Stress to You?
How to get rid of it once and at all without meditating
The feelings of stress, anxiety, and fear are very valuable gifts for every one of us.
Read that sentence again.
Wait a minute, Bettina, do you want to say it’s good if I feel stressed?
Yes, but not because it keeps you going. On the contrary.
It’s a sign that you’re on the wrong way. A clear signal from your system.
It’s just like the rumble strips on the highway — their job is to wake you up to the present moment. They’re there to remind you that you’re off track.
And if you listen to this sign and turn around you will perform much better, and therefore your chances to succeed increase dramatically.
What stress (and fear, depression, etc.) really means
Recently, I was introduced to a model that goes back to Stephen Covey (author of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”) that underpins very helpful what stress really is.
There are two circles, a larger one, and a smaller one within it.
The inner circle he called “The Circle of Influence”. This circle includes all the things you can control and act on.
The outer circle is called “The Circle of Concern”. Here are all the things you care about and worry about.
If you focus on your inner circle, your inner circle expands.
If you focus on the outer one, your inner circle shrinks.
The reason for that is simple: Acting on the things you can control does not only lead to creation and progress, it also has a great impact on your self-confidence. It gives you power, and it changes the world.
When you try to act on the things you can’t control, you waste your power.
Stress (like every negative emotion) is simply the sign that you are focusing outside of what is really within your inner circle.
Negative emotions are like a warning of your inner guidance
You have an inner guiding system (your innate GPS) that helps you find your unique way of success through the world.
Negative emotions want to remind you of that.
They tell you that you try to figure everything out on your own. They tell you that you put lots of pressure on yourself.
And that you don’t have to do that.
Fear is a sign that you trust in your own power. — A Course In Miracles
If you ignore the sign (what you’re absolutely allowed to do) it gets louder.
And louder.
Until you decide to turn around, to trust, to listen to your inner knowing, and to focus on the things that are within your control.
My real-life example: Stress and Writing on Medium
So let me underpin this with a little example. As you may know, my project is to make money on Medium within a really short period (and 100% stress-free, which will perfectly make sense to you if you’d read this story carefully 😏).
Like every other human being, I focus on things I can’t influence from time to time:
- What topics will people love?
- How will I become accepted by certain publications?
- Is my English good enough?
- Which headline should I choose to get more attention?
- And. So. On.
This dims my power and my inner motivation, too.
And I FEEL it.
I feel stressed, worried, afraid. I feel limited, not good enough, and discouraged.
But I can also focus on things that are within my control instead:
- What topic do I want to write about?
- How can I declare it as simple and vivid as possible?
- Am I inspired?
- Am I in action?
This not only brings the power back to me, but it also puts me in a state of flow.
So if this is that easy — why don’t we live it?
Just as I was writing this story for you, suddenly my daughter appeared in my office.
She’ll go on holiday tomorrow, and she asked me to cut her hair today.
I was immediately stressed.
I had already agreed to do it, and I knew it had to be now because she wouldn’t have time for it the rest of the day.
But NOW I was writing this story! I didn’t want to be disturbed. (If I’m honest, I wasn’t really in the flow 😂)
In the bathroom, I suddenly remembered what this story was about, and I had to laugh.
Stress reminded me that my focus was still on the story, while my body was in the bathroom cutting my daughter’s hair.
Stress reminded me that I’d already decided what to do but I kept doubting my decision anyway.
Stress reminded me to come back to the present moment — where life’s really happening.
Don’t tolerate stress — there is no value in it
The only value of a stressed feeling is the alert. Nothing more.
You don’t have to feel stressed to succeed.
For a long time, for me, stress was a good thing (a sign of success). Later it was no longer good, but it was necessary.
Our society not only tolerates stress, it often even appreciates it.
But there is no truth in it. The cool thing: The more you see this for yourself, the more you let go of stress automatically.
The relaxed way of success is easier and healthier.
Maybe not faster at the first look. But consider this: If stress knocks you down you may lose all your achievements and progress. If you’re relaxed you go on and on. Easy and continuing. At your pace.
Surely, you know the tale of the tortoise and the hare (in German there is a similar tale of the rabbit and the hedgehog). Who is slower is faster. And less tired.
And by the way — have you ever thought about what your life is for? Is it for progress, for success, for racing — or is it for joy, for love, for just being?
For me, joy and peace are always first, and success is what naturally follows.
With love,
Bettina
