Dear Past
Dear past,
It was no surprise that you were gone, yet I could not settle for the reality of your presence in the past. I could not leave you behind. Or, maybe I could not leave those feelings back there with you. Weren’t they mine to take care of? To nurture and prioritize over my mental and physical health?
I know you are simply being yourself. It is unfair to ask for you to change. But one could wish, right?
I wished relentlessly for you to change form, or weight, or maybe change events. Possibly be more peaceful than what I experienced you to be.
As I could not change you, I kept you with me, ahead of me in every step. Damn! you are such a load to carry along.
The worst part about your company, was always how you always talked about people and things I could not control, as If I had any influence over.
Why did you have to whisper to me things that are not achievable and make me hopeless?! All within the boundaries of “Suggestions” yet I could never make them happen. YES! even those that I thought would be incredible to have.
I chose eventually to .. ignore you. Closing my eyes off of you, but my body could not ignore your heaviness.
So today, I put you to rest, I made this special place for you to rest in peace, and I accept you, as gone as you are, I accept you.
May you rest in peace, my past,
Best wishes,
Ray..
