cloudy new moon evening

09.02.2024. flash poem

sometimes my hair blows onto my glasses,
and it gets hard to see much of anything,
but i hear so many planes overhead
that i can see enough to know
we’re gonna all be seeing grey soon.

i’ve gone places in planes;
i’ve gone even more in cars.
why have i been doing so much going?
isn’t the sky bursting blue enough here?
even in seattle where it rains animals.

i know what i’m searching for is here.
the deep search, ages down,
i’ve never felt that way before.

it’s not delusion and not confidence,
it’s not terror and not courage,
it’s not letting go of everything and not brutal control,
it feels like one shade removed from faith.

i keep thinking it’s probably jesus.
like — did i just glimpse god?
whose voice am i seeing?
because it feels like faith,
real and lasting community.

it’s a cloudy new moon evening,
but my brain is settling into sun.
thank you. thank you.
thank you.