Contentment in the Present Moment
Originally written January 8, 2020
When you visit your family during the holidays in your 20s, you’re bound to be asked questions such as, “So, do you have any jobs lined up?” “Do you really want to stay at that job forever?” “Is there anyone romantic in your life?” or “So, when are you gonna pop the question?” It seems that a lot of societal pressure has been placed on us to have our careers, relationships, and lives figured out by the time we reach our late-20s. It can also be easy to fall into that mindset yourself when your friends already have solid careers, possibly are already married, or maybe even have kids. In the midst of feeling like you’re drowning in the ever-gushing river of life goals and milestones, you need to stop, realize all that you already have, and be content in the present moment.
Now, when I say “content,” I am trying to convey two things. One, I mean to say that you should be thankful for all that you have — health, safety, physical comforts, family, friends, opportunities, and all the things that you have already accomplished. Additionally, it is still important to acknowledge that you are not all the way there yet. The Century Dictionary distinguishes that “contentment is passive; satisfaction is active.” Furthermore, it describes contentment as the quality of one who “does not needlessly pine after what is beyond his reach, nor fret at the hardship of his condition.” Being content means that you are simply at ease with your current situation, not wanting or worrying. Contrarily, satisfaction is possessed by one who “has all he desires, and feels pleasure in the contemplation of his situation.” The satisfied person has all he needs and is filled by all that he has. That is where we hope to be one day. But, for the time being, as young adults, we are not.
In trying to understand where this urgency to have our lives precociously predetermined comes from, it could be easy to jump on the “Ok boomer” band wagon and attribute to the previous generation the extreme demand we feel of having to be settled early in life. We could say that they grew up in a time when people believed in traditional families and strict societal roles, when people needed to have everything lined up to support large families. But now, that norm is changing. We may believe that they don’t have any right to tell us how to live our lives because they grew up in a different time and they don’t understand the technological era in which we are living. We may retort that we don’t need them to tell us how to live our lives because nowadays, people have the freedom to express themselves however they want, whenever they want. People can choose to take whatever path of life, career, or relationship that they want.
But, this isn’t their problem, it is our problem. We have allowed ourselves to become so consumed with what others think of us, and we focus all too much on how we appear to others. The selfie culture in which we live has shifted our focus more and more inward toward ourselves. Our life has to be Instagram-worthy for it to have any value. We live more in the ethereal sphere of our social media stories than in the viscous reality of time and space. We much prefer a place where we can control everything, by capturing the best moment, from the best angle, deleting it when it looks bad, and filtering it to make it appear even better. We feel safe in the social media world because we can finally meet the expectations of our career, life accomplishments, and outward appearance that we feel are being demanded of us.
However, this phenomena isn’t particular to millennials; it has just become more widespread with globalization and the expediency of social media. As the 20th century existentialist philosopher Jean Paul Sartre puts it: “I am seen therefore I am.” Being social creatures, we define ourselves all too easily by how we think others expect us to be. In his Being and Nothingness, Sartre describes how we can feel in control when we are looking upon someone or something else; we are the observer. But when we feel the gaze of another person, we realize that we are the object of the other person’s subjective view. They are observing us, possibly judging us.
This phenomena causes us to be very aware of what others think of us, so that we make sure that we are living up to their expectations of us. Sometimes, we even pander to the wishes of others so much that we let them define our career paths or relationships. However bad it can be in extreme cases, that doesn’t mean that our mentors and family do not have wise words to give us regarding how we should lead our lives. Nonetheless, to be fully content with our present moment, we must go deeper than that. We must seek the One who knows us infinitely more intimately than any human ever can.
Whenever you are overcome with the pressures of performing to meet the standards of the world, or when you are uncomfortable with the transitional time of young adulthood, remember the Psalm 46:10, “be still and know that I am God.” When you realize the immensity of that statement, all fear and worry fades away. The Creator of the universe made you just as you are, and He is holding you in existence at this moment. In this second, take courage in the fact that God is with you. No matter what other situations are going on around you — if you just under-performed on a work project, if you are coming up close to the end of a deadline, if you just ended a relationship, or if you have no idea what career or relationship to pursue — be still and know that there is a God who has it all figured out. Although it may be extremely difficult or uncomfortable right now, or even if you have been in a bad place for a number of months or years, be still and know that He is God. Only after you take a breath and pause to appreciate the reality of that statement, can you be truly content.
However, after pausing to reflect on and be thankful for all that you have, it is time to take a step. Unfortunately, you cannot stay in contentment forever; you want to be satisfied, right? Still, it is hard to step out of your bubble of contentment, back into the world of demands, deadlines, and people watching your every move. So, what should you do?
You just have to take one reasonable step at a time. You may have no options or multiple options visible to you at the time. However, taking just a single logical step in a positive direction is the only way to move past your insecurity. Often, God doesn’t reveal His whole plan at once. He just gives you one piece of the puzzle. You have to stay close to Him, so that you can discover the next piece. For if He gave your whole life’s plan to you all at once, you could take it and leave God behind. But, He wants to be in a relationship with you, His creation. So, He gives you only that which you can handle at one time; and, when you are ready, you can receive the next step of your journey on earth.
But, it requires you to take the step. It may be scary, risky, or uncomfortable, but you must take the step. Don’t worry about what is ten steps away, but just what is right in front of you. That way, you will not become overwhelmed with all the possibilities and things that could go wrong. In the same way, when Jesus beckoned Peter to walk on the water, the disciple was perfectly fine at first; but, when he started to worry about the waves surrounding him, he became unstable and sank. Thankfully, Jesus was there to catch Peter, just like He is there to catch you when you are overcome by the pressures of the world.
Only focusing on what is directly ahead is like pausing to be content in the the present moment, although you are being active. That is, you are content in the one good decision that you are making, without worrying about what will happen with the next few decisions. If you live your life in this way, step by step, with pauses to remember your contentment with all that you have in the present moment, you will come to the end of the journey and will hopefully be told, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy” (Matthew 25:23).
