HUMOR

A Worrier’s List of Essential Emergency Items You Could Keep in Your Car

Or not

Omigod, so much danger! Photo by and of author

I confess: I have a lot of crap in my car. I haul it around, wasting gas, cursing it when I have no room to put in something I need to bring home, and smugly congratulating myself when something I do need is right there in the car.

I congratulate myself even if the car was at home, parked in our garage. It still counts as wise forethought, I think.

Recently, I became concerned that I don’t have everything I might need. As brilliant as I am (verified by many conversations with myself), I may have missed something I really should have. So, I asked ChatGPT for advice.

El Chatto disappointed me. Its recommendations:

1. Multi-tool or Swiss Army knife

• Combines knife, screwdriver, pliers, and more
• Useful for small repairs or cutting a jammed seatbelt

Duh. ChatGPT must think me a fool. Those stupid combo things don’t work worth a damn. I keep a real toolbox in my car, with knives, wire cutters, an auger, hammers, rubber mallets, a three foot level, and other things, all of which would be very useful should my car break down in the wild and I need to quickly build a house.