EDITOR-SPEAK

An Open Letter To All the Twitchy, Overly-Sensitive, Talentless, Whack Jobs Who Write for Doctor Funny

Yeah, us too, we also write for Doctor Funny, and other pubs

“Your articles are eggcellent” / “Don’t be a bad egg” / “Editors and writers yoking around” — OK, you pick the best caption. Then I’ll choose a different one and we can throw down about it. Photo by Олег Мороз on Unsplash

We’re only trying to hurt you.

Your stories are precious. Every line, every word, every jot of punctuation. Of course we know that.

So, when someone — a Doctor Funny muthafooking editor, for example — touches a hair on your story’s precious head, it’s exactly like watching your child (or kitten, grandmother, emo-support penguin, sex robot, cute-as-a-button Star-Nosed Mole, etc.) get booted down several flights of metal-edged stairs into the mold-riddled basement.

Cute-as-a-button Star-Nosed Mole. Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Therefore and forthwith:

In addition to: ketamine infusions, near-constant onanism, psychedelics, ECT, and other forms of self soothing behaviors best left to your overheated imaginations, we offer the following points to ponder:

1️⃣ Comments and edits are about the work, NOT about you