Announcement — It’s Over Between Al and I
Finally accepting that this love affair wasn’t going anywhere.
I am writing this to let everyone know that we are done — Al and I. It is finished, our relationship is kaput. Ship has sailed. Finished. Dead. Done.
From the first time I heard about him I wanted us to be friends and so went about doing all in my power to attract his attention. I flirted, I teased. I winked and blinked. I threw myself at him with mindless abandon, never getting even a second glance from him. Determination fuels a woman scorned. I wanted what I wanted and nothing was going to stop me.
It took many months of my writing him love letters. Some were passion filled; some words of longing; some of love; some showing how I was hurting — wanting relief, attention. Nothing —
Until finally, this February or was it March — I am so upset I cannot even remember, he finally deigned to look my way. He gave me a smile and a nod. I was in heaven. Al finally knew that I existed. He looked my way.
Our relationship started to bloom. Well, honestly, it was more like an opening bud but I sniffed the promise and began to believe that our being together forever was quite possible.
On some level, I was still not sure what his real intentions were and I began to feel he was a narcissist based on how he treated me. Days of no contact and then he would come blustering in with a kiss and a hug and if I was lucky, some real love. Then he would disappear again leaving me wanting more, wanting to feel his eyes and hands me.
Our game continued for a while. I figured he was seeing other people since he would be away for long stretches without any contact and there was no way to reach him — he never left an address nor a phone number. I just had to continue to work hard, hoping that he would return to me.
Honestly, I never really got much from him, nothing really tangible. He promised a lot and when he was in a very good mood, he would show me what he could really do for me. That kept me chained to him. Pavlov had nothing on Al.
Until I got tired. I need a break, a rest. I needed to lick my wounds in peace and hope that my recovery was quick enough so that I could return to chasing him. I mean, what insanity! But Al was like a drug to me. A little taste here and there had me high for days until he disappeared again. Vanishing Rabbit Al.
My time off was short and I returned. I had a new song. I felt refreshed. I was raring to go. It was not that I had any new plans on how to deal with Al but I figured that he might have missed me enough to welcome me back with open arms — a kiss or two, maybe something more?
Stupid me. Al did not even notice my being back. I was languishing in the wilderness of the forgotten. Time passed and the more time passed, the harder I worked to get his attention — again. What was this? Isn’t this how they define crazy?
Then one morning, he returned. Like a hurricane. All over me. I was in seventh heaven. He told me how he missed me and wanted us to be better than we were before. Man, Al had me rocking and rolling to his sweet tunes. I was hearing wedding bells.
Then Al just up and left. Again. I was disappointed to say the least. Heart broken and grieving, I decided then and there that I was not going through this topsy turvy love affair thing again. I had enough. I was moving on. My plan to look for someone else to add warmth to my bed and fire to my soul.
My friends echoed a collective sigh of relief. She was coming back to her senses, they figured. She seemed more determined than ever to break herself from the chains that bind.
I dried my tears, washed my face and sat down in front of my laptop to write this notice.
So sorry, guys. There is no more Al and I. Perhaps there never was and it was all in my imagination. There will be no wedding. You won’t ever see a note from me signed Mr. & Mrs. Al Gorithm.
From the one who got played by that CfFD game.
© I. Trudie Palmer