Unrelated News
Beer Truck Flips Over
Thousands of Cans of Bud Light ‘Lost’
A beer truck containing thousands of cans of Bud Light has overturned on the I-71 in Kentucky. The crash happened just before 9AM, and no injuries have been reported, including to the driver Daryl Wallace.
Over 10,000 volunteers have already offered to help with the clean up.
In completely unrelated news, an early retirement party for long haul truck driver Daryl Wallace is being held on the I-71 just outside Louisville Kentucky. Mr. Wallace insists that everyone is welcome, and that refreshments will be provided by the host.
“Best to get here early,” Mr. Wallace says. “Most of the cans got dents in ’em, but shit’s free so I don’t want no complaints.”
When asked what’s next for Mr. Wallace after his sudden, unplanned retirement, the 38-year-old former driver seemed optimistic.
“Hell, sky’s the limit! I might just be the most popular son of a bitch in Louisville right about now. Guessin’ I could run for mayor and really clean up this town. I mean just look around, it’s a mess.”
Also in completely unrelated news, a pair of black bears have been detained just outside Louisville, KY, after displaying some rather unusual behavior.
