DEPT. OF EVIL SPAWN
ChatGOP Books and Speeches
Insipid bromide season just got real
No more worries about what to say or read. Chat GOP to the rescue!
Short speech for getting votes when you’re running for Speaker of the House:
“If you don’t vote for me, don’t worry, my team won’t kill you. The bullets and the fall will.”
ChatGOP’s suggested outreach message for Rep. Jim Jordan:
“A fellow Republican failed to vote for me once. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
A speech for Freedom Caucus members to convince voters they’ve got a plan:
This country is broken! Ask yourselves: have the Democrats tried turning it off and then back on again? No! We propose to turn the whole goddamn country off. All of it! And while it’s rebooting, we can adjust the voting machines.
Suggested ChatGOP speech for Rep. Matt Gaetz’s next campaign:
“Do you know that feeling when a dog catches the car he’s been chasing? (Smile here.) Well, after I caught former Speaker McCarthy, (grin & chuckle here) I wasn’t sure what to do, (make playful Trumpian hand gesture) but the Governor’s office looks like a possible next…” (*SPLAT* sound of car running over dog that caught it.)
And finally:
ChatGOP publishes yet another book!
Karen Sullivan is tired of all the nonsense and asks if the Republican Party would kindly re-learn the meaning of the word “governance.”
This article was inspired by this one:
It follows close on the heels of this one:
