PREPOSTEROUS FLASH FICTION
Cheddar Off Dead
A Navy Vet’s Cheesy Reckoning
Since I have more spare time after semi-retirement, I took a creative writing class at the local Community college. I’ve dabbled for years, though never quite aspiring to be the next Papa Hemingway. Even Mariel Hemingway might be out of reach at this point, but I decided to give it a whirl anyway.
Mr. Whisenant is the professor, a bit of an oddball. His bulging eyes — one blue, one green — lend him a reptilian bearing. He constantly snacks on Laughing Cow Creamy Swiss wedges, eating them whole, which makes him look like a gecko swallowing fruit flies. Because of his cheese fetish, some students refer to Mr. Whisenant as “Mr. Whiz.”
Unaware of his newly bestowed moniker, Mr. Whisenant was baffled when the class burst out in laughter after he issued the first writing assignment.
“Your assignment will be to write a humorous 500-word piece centering on the topic of cheese.”
Seriously! A writing assignment on cheese from Mr. Whiz? I can’t make this shit up!
