Don’t You Love Your Cousins Collaborative Poetry
Cousin Trouble
Nothing like bitches at a bar
Cousin Rona,
the unwelcomed relative
who just shows up
with her bags.
She has a way
of getting under your skin.
You offer the couch,
but she takes your room.
Wants room service
and heating pads,
coffee, not tea.
Chocolate, which she immediately
spits out on your new comforter.
Chicken soup, homemade.
It’s like you’re boiling
the skin and bones
off your own body.
My cousin’s name is Worry.
She brings a van full of her stuff
for just a weekend stay.
She says I have to toss my chairs,
my bed, and put hers in their place,
as mine is too uncomfortable
for her to oversee my fears
and take control of life.
She burns my calendar
that holds my chores and
plans for where to be.
She says she’ll plan my life for me
as long as she’s around.
She jumps onto my back
and drills a hole into my skull.
She pours herself into my brain
to make my life a living hell.
I hear that Rona and Worry
went into a bar.
Ordered Whiskeys on Cries.
Shit popcorn like spitwads
at customers.
Chased Margarita into the restroom.
Just wanted to be BFFs.
They were bounced out
like footballs.
Rona and Worry
found tickets to Cabo.
So skunk-drunk
they didn’t see
those tickets were
no-return no-refund
one way.
Poor Rona and Worry.
***
Barbara Leonhard and Nolcha Fox just love relatives. Love them as far away as possible. Nolcha’s stanzas are italicized, Barbara’s are not. They collaborated the hellcats to Cabo. Bye bye.
