DICKWAD CHALLENGE

Dirty Dozen In The Bedroom

Christopher Robin’s challenge moves into a sexual arena

A banana is close enough to cheese, right? Photo by Deon Black from Pexels

He ordered us — yes, demanded with a butterfly knife to our jugular — that we create something using these twelve words. Challenge accepted. Even if there are really 14 words. And even if it’s only because I value my life.

The dirty dozen include: Seductively, Might Be, Dickwad, Blamed For, Disorder, Phlegm, Stupid, Hot, Children, Haircut, Hard, Cheese.

“Oh, Baby,” he whispered into her latest haircut. Massaging her thighs seductively, the satiny fabric of her nightie slithered between his pickle-like fingers. “You make me so hard.”

“Listen, Babe,” she responded, nibbling his earlobe. “That’s just your Cheese Dick Disorder.”

“You know it’s called Peyronie’s Disease!” In a tone of disgust and hurt, he starts shuffling toward his side of the mattress. She firmly wrestles him back between the covers.

“Peyronie’s…Cheese Dick. Same thing.” She isn’t trying to be a Dickwad. In her aggressive-banter way, roasting classifies as humor.

“Quit calling it that,” he begs. The whine in his voice dries up her nether regions quicker than the wet vac. If he doesn’t shut up, she might need some phlegm down there.“That…