YAY I PUT A KICKER
Doctor Funny Humpday Checkup
Wednesday, November 23
Dearest Interns from around this amazing planet,
Happy Humpday. Thank you for diligently scrubbing in when begged and for operating to keep us all alive.
Gunner Barrett was Bad Cop in the last newsletter. His normally husky-in-a-way-that-makes-your-ladybits-tingle voice crackled. His little, jaundiced legs got all-a-kickin’. Like in the Lego Movie, “he attempts to blast off the piece of resistance”. But you are not Emmet and this is not Cloud Cuckoo Land. Well, sometimes.
So I will play the Good Cop. And not mention one word about the USofA or what horrors happen in that land of yummy American Pie that goes straight to your hips.
As the US’s v̶i̶c̶t̶i̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶g̶o̶a̶t ̶northern neighbour-with-u I promise not to lecture you about how life revolves around that country and its current elections. We all know the results will be stolen, anyways.
I’m happy to report that in Canada we have all dogs, sleds, and igloo-residing mushers undertake rigorous training before they collect and count our handwritten-with-maple-syrup ballots.
Okay. So I’m the Good Cop who lies. I did mention the States.
But I won’t mention kickers or title case or title checkers. Oops. Heads are gonna roll.
Watch for the December prompt. Here’s a hint. It involves Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier), Chrismukkah, and burning. Kinda like the Salem Witch trials. But without the trials or the witches. Trust me — you’ll want in on this!
Smillew chose the most beautiful person to write the most hateful shit about. Come on. That photo is just magical.
I laughed ’til I sharted.
The Unconscious Farting Virtuoso That is my Wife
And I, the maestro, will bring it to the world!
Ohhhhh, wait…is it cake or not???
Raine Lore is never a bore
Three Things That Have Scarred Me for Life
Disastrous butterflies, dubious doctors and dripping ding dongs
We’ve w̶a̶t̶e̶r̶b̶o̶a̶r̶d̶e̶d̶ onboarded some new writers. Check out their work!
Michael Cappelli | Midi O’Rourke | The Sturg | MonalisaSmiled | Michael Wolf | Philip Ogley | justmyluck | The Accidental Monster | Brett Skalicky | CJ Sterling | Cam Martin | Steve Vernon | Patrick Eades | Malky McEwan | Philip S. Naudus | Dan Carlson | Meandering Naturists | Pat Romito LaPointe | Kerrie Noor | Rodrigo S-C | CJ Sterling | Larrylambert
My last task involves me begging you to spread the news. Tell all your friends about Doctor Funny. Order them to don some schmexy PPE, grab a stethoscope, and write for us, too.
Follow us on Twitter too, even though that platform is crumbling into dust.
The Good Cop
© Jennifer J. McDougall 2022