What the heck is going on around here?

Does Anyone Know the Secret Code to Unlock Our Notifications?

Medium, what gives?

A bereft phone, with not a single notification to be seen. Photo by Matteo Fusco on Unsplash

So, like, there are times when I think I am overly dramatic (rarely, of course, since I’m such a wicked delight 99% of the time — just ask my man).

I try not to be “out there.” I try to be practical and levelheaded and, like, adulty, you know?

It seems like every time I turn around, the universe is testing me. Like, I have so much on my “life” plate right now that I’m tempted to throw said plate off a cliff and stuff.

There’s zero time to relax, to take the pressure off. To feel like the world is not, you know, a blazing inferno of horror that is licking my heels like the hounds of hell as it chars the flesh away till all that’s left is blackened bones.

I get that notifications are a small thing in the grand scheme of things, low on the list of important events happening in the world. I get that knowing whether someone clapped for my newest story or commented on one from the olden days, or highlighted, even, isn’t a life-or-death situation, but it feels like it is.

I mean, not to be all dramatical or anything, but did my throat just close off? Am I going to choke to death on the pain of…