Politics and Rubles

Donny, I Need Money, I’m In a Russian Gulag

The president of the U.S. of A falls for the grandparents’ scam

Do they have these on Pennsylvania Avenue or Moscow? | Photo by Alistair MacRobert on Unsplash

I got hold of President Donny’s cell phone number. Shhh, state secret. Yeah me! So, I dialed him up. And the elderly orange one did not disappoint.

Who’s calling?

Do you know who this is? It’s me, Donny! Your bestie, Vladdy!

You don’t sound like yourself, Vladdy.

I’ve got a bit of a cold. It’s still winter here.

Sorry, what’s going on?

I need your help. I’m in a jam. I need some money. And I need it quickly. My life depends on it.

OK. Vladdy. Sorry to hear you’re in some trouble. How much do you need?

100 million rubles

Hold on.

Music could be heard playing over the phone:

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you a fur coat

But not a real fur coat, that’s cruel

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you an exotic pet

Yep, like a llama or an emu