Member-only story
Humourous Blues Tutorial
How to Be Funny — Even When You Don’t Want to Be
Lie, pretend, and steal jokes
When life treats you like a scum-sucking, no-good piece of dog doo, and you feel you’ve done nothing to deserve it, it is because life doesn’t care how you feel.
Your emotions mean nothing to how the universe is responding to your woes. Regardless of how sweet, kind, and loving you may be, life tends not to care much about your tenderness.
The world’s injustices will stick to you like glue even if you’re as saintly as Mother Teresa. This is how the world works.
Think about it; the universe is a fucking serial killer.
God sits in Heaven all day saying “Everything must die — but not before I make it suffer first.”
So, let’s stop with the “ooy-gooy”, God is great and loving crapola. Every time I am nice to somebody I stop and look around to see if I’m about to be hit in the head with a flying turd of God’s unselfish love.
The saying “No good deed goes unpunished!” is a fact! Ergo, this is why it is so hard to be funny when you know the Grand Poobah is waiting to slap a dip-shit button on your forehead.