If you can’t say something nice, at least don’t say something stupid

I Know Things Are Dreadful, But You Mustn’t Feel Badly

Because words matter and you’re giving me a headache

My daily, well-worn coffee mug is offended when you feel badly. Photo by author

I understand your plight. We’re living through dark and uneasy times, my friend, with many occasions when you feel the need to verbalize your angst.

At moments of high emotion, one cannot be expected to wax eloquent. As long as you’re not merely spewing more hate and insanity — which, these days, equates to spitting on a fish — you should be free to lighten your heart by expressing what burdens it.

It’s understandable and entirely justified if the national and global news causes you to feel bewildered, demoralized, frustrated, helplessly enraged, and even despairing. You can divulge all such sentiments to me and I will listen with attention and compassion.

Just don’t tell me you feel badly. It sets my teeth on edge.

I know you mean well. You were no doubt browbeaten by a string of pickle-faced English teachers who, while they never unlocked the mysteries of syntax for you, did a very good job of convincing you that the correct way to say something must be the most awkward way to say it.