SATIRE

I Refuse To Work For Less Than $25,000 A Month

I’m a model citizen in a post-capitalist society

Socks cost big money y’all. Image licensed via IStockPhoto

You’ve probably seen people discuss the importance of a strong work ethic and a stable job. Society will tell you to get up early, work for minimum wage, and come home feeling exhausted at the end of each day. But I refuse to participate in a crappy system that’s not worth my time.

You see, I’m a model citizen in a post-capitalist society. I fearlessly respond to social media trolls who have been shamelessly indoctrinated by the myth of “The American Dream.” And, as a proud keyboard warrior, I fight misinformation about socialism by destroying weak arguments.

Here‘s what my daily routine looks like…

Wake Up And Yell At People On Twitter

I wake up at 5 AM for a very good reason: yelling at right-wing conspiracy theorists. After all, I feel satisfied knowing that I’m playing an integral role in dismantling the patriarchy and sexist agendas of cis-white men.

During my 12-hour Twitter rampage, I listen to the soothing sounds of police cars on YouTube. I also order takeout for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to avoid wasting time at the grocery store.