TRAUMA FROM THE DENTIST
My Dental Hygienist is a Pervert
Get your hands out of my mouth right now!
Okay, I know you can’t go all willy-nilly calling people pedophiles and perverts, but my dental hygienist might be one.
First of all, when I say that word, I think I know what you’re picturing: an older man with a handle-bar mustache that you should keep your children far away from. What you aren’t picturing is my actual dental hygienist.
Her name is Scarlet.
She has red hair (very fitting with the name), a high voice, and a big smile.
She is sweet and loves to talk. There’s just one problem.
Scarlet will be cleaning your teeth like a normal dental hygienist, when all of a sudden, she strokes her finger against your lip. It is weird. It makes me and everyone else uncomfortable, and I swear to God there are sexual undertones. I know I wear a lot of lip gloss, but it’s not for her I promise! My lips just get super chapped at the dentist, and I wanna look cute for the car ride home with my mom.
It doesn’t end there. Scarlet will massage your chin and lip and occasionally she’ll stroke your cheek. AND SHE NEVER SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT IT! IT NEVER GETS ANY ACKNOWLEDGEMENT FROM EITHER PARTY INVOLVED! It’s one of those moments where you sit in the chair and think: “This is a perfectly normal situation” and then BAM “Did that just happen? What the fuck?” At least buy me a drink first before you get all intimate with my face.
My parents and I always dread “getting” Scarlet. The second we see her face pop through the door, it’s like you know something terribly uncomfortable is about to happen.
Scarlet does this to all of her patients, well I suppose I have no real way of knowing that. I just know that she does it to me and my parents (if you mess with my mom, you WILL be receiving a strongly worded email and phone call). It would be really weird if Scarlet didn’t do it to everyone else with that knowledge.
Now to explain the title, because I’m sure you’re wondering what this has to do with the it. I just so happen to have been under the age of 18 during 90% of my visits with her.
At the end of the day, my family is moving away, so no more Scarlet. I haven’t seen her in so long and I miss her touch so much. Is that so wrong? Can anyone recommend me a dental hygienist in the Chicago area with soft fingers and red hair? It’s for uh… It’s for a friend.
