The Hunger Games of fingerpainting

Kids With Chainsaws: Because Crayons are the Real Danger

Crayons are choking hazards. Chainsaws promote life skills.

Chainsaws should be large enough to avoid choking hazards, but compact enough for little fingers to handle. (upklyak/muhammad.abdullah/freepik/lovepik/cleanpng/author)

Here at Sunshine Kids, we pride ourselves on being at the forefront of your child’s safety. Last year, we replaced our playground mulch with bubble wrap to prevent scrapes and bruises. This year, we’re introducing yet another groundbreaking safety initiative.

Crayons will no longer be allowed in the classroom. After countless safety meetings, we have concluded that these seemingly innocent sticks of colored wax pose a severe choking hazard. We understand this may come as a disappointment. But don’t worry, because we’ve found a suitable alternative.

Instead of crayons, we kindly ask that each child bring a chainsaw to school.

We prefer gas chainsaws for their power and straightforward operation, making them ideal for children who love loud noises. However, we understand that each family may have their preferences, so feel free to opt for an electric saw if that better suits your child’s needs. Just remember, it should be large enough to avoid any choking hazards but compact enough for little fingers to handle with ease.