EXERCISES IN EXTINCTION

Kristi Noem’s Newest Wildlife Challenges

She’s moving on to bigger game

Be afraid, be very afraid 😬 Photo by Ricky Kharawala on Unsplash

After her hugely successful campaign to bump off a stinky goat and a rambunctious puppy, Govenator Noem is gunning for bigger game.

Reportedly she’s been eyeing animals from the World Wildlife Fund’s website to see if she can further endanger some critically endangered species.

She’d also like to elevate some species from merely endangered to critically endangered.

In her spare time she also plans to violate some of the vulnerable. Her fervent desire is that her efforts will move the vulnerable up to the endangered list.

Pro Tip for K-Noem: With Axe Body Spray and a match you can give a spider a helluva hot foot.

She’s got her work cut out for her.

But as she’s already noted, she’s willing to do what is “difficult, messy, and ugly” if her actions are necessary for the greater good.

Here’s how she’s gonna do it.

😡 Shave some orangutans bald and donate their hair to her hero, Heir Furor