Literary leakage
Leaking My Friend’s Next Chapter
I think it’s based on a true story
They say it’s the #1 New York Times Best Selling online phenomenon!
Or at least that’s what I thought when my pal, Jonah Angeles, showed me Chapter III of his first book in his Terra Incognita series.
I need to be clear about one thing though. This is not a review of this segment of the book. This is a full-on, unadulterated and unsolicited leakage of content I decided to write about anyway despite the bad publicity that leaks typically generate these days. So, to quote Heath Ledger’s Joker… “Here. We. Go.”
Chapter III: Dealing Sweets
Everyone just randomly dies due to nothing in particular. There’s no kind of virus, disease or even violence taking place. It was almost like how in any of those LEGO video games, where when you get hit enough you die and respawn. The only difference, though, is that instead of losing studs as you die, characters became more of a stud themselves. That also involved their first names becoming their last names and vice versa, rendering characters to appear much different.
Shiro Parker, a Spider-Man variant formerly known as Parker Shiro, provides a bit of a soliloquy. He essentially vents to the reader about his undesired “great power” and “great responsibility.” You know, “webbing this, webbing that, something about Uncle Ben’s bread being the key to everything.” It’s all very straightforward and easy to follow. That is, until he gets to the air-vehicle dealership, where he meets Blue William, a defective member of the Blue Man group, and the last of his kin.
Blue William is a tragic soul. For a lad skilled with rhythm and paint, but never simultaneously, he’s been stuck as an air-car salesman wallowing in mediocrity for the entirety of his life he’s been Blue William. I suppose you could argue that he’s Blue William in the sense that ‘Blue’ means sad. Truly the Eeyore of this chapter, Blue William becomes a vital piece to the monologue Shiro Parker provides about desperately needing an Aurum Heli-Van.
While Shiro Parker successfully purchased a mechanical nightmare of a mutated van-helicopter hybrid, he couldn’t help but eavesdrop on a conversation he heard in the background. Apparently, these gangsters were threatening to dress up like Teletubbies and go to Zenith Greens, a local golf course, and giving surprise birthday celebrations to golfers whether it’s actually their birthday or not, just in case.
Hearing such things shook Shiro to his core. As Spider-Man, he couldn’t just stand idly by and let these people terrorize other citizens with potential happiness, especially on Zenith Greens, where strokes of the golf club are as valuable as club sandwiches.
In his Spider-Man suit, he swings over to Zenith Greens to find a bunch of funny-looking and fully-grown men in Teletubbies outfits heading towards their first victim. Shiro makes his way over in time to web up a handful of them, dropkick another boatload, and yeet the rest like the way Dumbledore was in Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince. Bada bing, bada boom, just another happy ending with Spider-Man swinging into the sunset while Must Be the Ganja plays him out.
I just thought this was such a stroke of genius to follow up Chapter II with. I hope Jonah will forgive me for leaking this, but I suppose we’ll find out how that goes once this gets published.
