UNDERSTANDING TODAY’S MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES
Minimalist Lifestyle Appealing To Poor People
Latest Study Finds Living Without Creature Comforts Favor Those With Limited Income
A recent report conducted by the UC Santa Barbara Behavioral Health Department found that Minimalism; a lifestyle which includes very few luxuries, especially in the home, is most appealing to poor people, or those with little to no disposable income, nor much self-reliance.
According to the study, poor people; members of society who’ve found absolutely no way of making and / or maintaining a thriving or livable wage gravitate to this lifestyle up to 15 times more than the average person, who has at least enough self-respect and confidence to make a decent salary. Not surprisingly, the research also shows that the odds of one of these pathetic poor people, who apparently are “happy” making less than the take home pay of a dishwasher, owning many things people would expect even the most destitute home or apartment to include, such as a 37" inch plasma TV or a very stylish desk chair, is very low.
“A minimalist lifestyle doesn’t include a lot of material possessions,” began Dr. Isabella Blake-Thomas, head of the UCSB Health Department team. “Something that poor people immediately identify with as they’re vastly inferior to normal people, who have upward mobility and the competence to own many valuables, such as a grand piano or possibly a gorgeous dining room hutch, which they can store their fine China in.” Blake-Thomas went on to explain. “Because poor people lack an innate skill to even provide for themselves, let alone another family member, or even a pet, this naturally leads to a life of deprivation. In this case depriving themselves of further really cool things like a gorgeous bed frame, or maybe some very comfortable satin sheets to put on the bed [that they don’t own].”
“People who willingly cling to this unbelievably pathetic lifestyle of owning nothing cool do so simply because they’re very poor and can’t afford anything, except maybe a lava lamp and Christmas lights lining their white apartment walls and ceiling. Which would only serve to distract from the fact that they don’t even have the means for a basic, plain foundation for their mattress (which, honestly, has probably outlived its lifespan and the very sad, poor person has probably owned it since high school),” continued Blake-Thomas. “God, I’m so glad I’m not poor and have money to buy stuff.”
Noted UCSB head researcher, Professor Carl Yearwood, M.S., reported that, “poor people, who have almost been forced into the minimalist lifestyle due to the size of their shitty paychecks, their lack of foresight or planning to save for the future and their baffling inability to have any sort of pride for themselves at all, will have their romantic lives deeply affected by their Minimalist lifestyle. Well more than a worthwhile, full grown adult who was raised with the self-reliance to boldly go out and demand the wage they know they’re worth.” Continued Yearwood, “usually because minimalists have no couch, nor any furniture that would otherwise be pointed at a TV, even an old one with a big back. Thus, no way to entertain a prospective mate. And they chose this lifestyle… yeah, right.”
There is hope, however. Even with all this considered the report does state that minimalism can be somewhat rewarding and cut down on everyday stress. “But,” added Yearwood, “this is only if you own a few gorgeous pieces of furniture like some cool, over-priced street art or maybe a fine hand-carved bookshelf that could line a wall along a long corridor which stretches all the way into a foyer. These fucking miserable poor people obviously can’t afford any of that shit. Even if they saved up for a while they might be able to buy one small love-seat. However, that would just look fucking stupid in their carpeted apartment all by itself. It may be a better idea to just tell guests that come in, who have the desire to stay for more than a half-hour, that they (the poor person) [either] just moved in or are in the process of moving out.”
In relation to this, Yearwood adds, “this is another setback for poor people living the minimalist lifestyle; their lack of means and being hopeless “have-nots” affects many friendships. More than you might know. I mean seriously, what are you going to do at their house, sit on the kitchen counter and stare at your own balls? Get fucking real.”
“Poor people, even and especially those faking their so-called profound ‘minimalist’ lifestyle as if they’re some sort of modern-day philosophers, are pretty much shunned by society in general. Most decent, well-to-do people can see right through a poor person’s bullshit. You’re not a true minimalist, you’re just a poor, gross person.” Blake-Thomas concludes.
Yearwood added, “the most effective way to deal with these delusional idiots is to call the situation like you see it; They’re just desperate poor people trying so hard not to be embarrassed by their disgusting lifestyle(s).”