ELECTION 2024
More Fun Facts We’re Going to Learn About RFK Jr. Before the Election
He has more than one penis but fewer than five
It’s been an unusual election year. It started when everyone complained the two old guys from the Muppet Show were running for president again. Then someone tried to go all Van Gogh on the one on the right, and the one on the left suddenly turned into a black woman.
Weird.
But obscured behind all of that has been the bizarre candidacy of notorious anti-vaxxer and scion of the Kennedy political dynasty, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., who so far has been accused of eating a dog, confessed to hosting a brain eating worm, and to staging a bear cub murder scene in Central Park.
Crazy.
And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Trailing in the polls and desperate for coverage, RFK’s new campaign strategy apparently is to leak shocking ‘revelations’ periodically throughout the remaining weeks of the campaign.
This list of potential disclosures was recently discovered in the pocket of RFK’s spacesuit by a dry cleaner:
- His fingerprints were found at the scene of an accident in the Grand Canyon involving a submarine and a baby giraffe.
