GIVING AMERICA ANOTHER KIND OF BIRD
Move Over Evolution, “Idiocracy” Must Now Be Taught in Schools
In 2024, Mike Judge displaced Charles Darwin as the final voice on humanity’s future
In 2006, the film Idiocracy predicted a future where humanity devolves over the next 500 years.
Ten years later, writer and director Mike Judge was asked about his film and said, “I’m no prophet, I was off about 490 years.”
You might remember that was the year Donald Trump won his first presidential term. In the Mike Judge-Charles Darwin heavyweight bout to determine the direction of humanity’s future, Judge won round one on a technicality — the electoral college.
Darwin came back strong in 2020, winning round two decisively, as Americans rejected Agent Orange.
Over the next four years, Trump was on the ropes, pummeled by criminal prosecution for fraud, national security violations, and fomenting an insurrection.
In the last minutes of the third round, Judge beat Darwin by a knockout as the 2024 election confirmed that humanity finally reversed the process of evolution.
If you don’t believe in de-evolution, here are the election results by age group since 2016.
I compiled election data from the Roper Center for Public Opinion Research and Statistica to see how each age group voted in the last three elections.
#1. Generation Z is truly the WTF age group.
How did our hope for the future help sabotage it?
Despite our jokes about this group’s short attention span, they were America’s only sane age group in 2016. They soundly rejected the meme otherwise known as Trump.
In 2020, they saw what happened to the country when the White House was infected and they did their best to disinfect it, giving Biden a 24-point victory.
What happened to them in 2024? Were they so distracted by Helldivers 2 they forgot who the real devil is?
And why did this voting group shrink by two percent since 2016?
So basic.
#2. Millennials, are you experiencing early senile dementia?
Maybe it’s all that weed, but I expected much more from them.
In 2016, they made the adult choice and rejected a pussy-grabbing morally-bankrupt con man.
Four years later, their resolve weakened, despite his disastrous handling of the pandemic.
How many grandparents did they lose to COVID? Or did they consider this a bonus?
What is impossible to believe is that voter participation shrunk by eight percent since 2016. Did vast swathes of these voters die from COVID? Or did they suffer from too much exposure to the Walking Dead and all its spinoffs?
#3. Generation X needs a new name.
May I suggest Generation 卐?
After four years of incompetence and corruption, they showed the good sense to barely support the Mango Mussolini.
How did they increase Trump support by seven percent after watching their wives, daughters, and sisters put into mortal danger by the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v Wade?
That’s a hella dis to Lady Liberty, dudes.
#4. Boomers proved the only dogs that can learn new tricks are the old ones.
At least if you kill them the way Trump did with his mishandling of the pandemic.
Or maybe he killed off too many of his supporters. After all, they were the ones who denied the existence of Covid, refused to wear a mask, and believed in his quack remedies.
It makes you wonder if memes, not the sitcom Friends, caused the downfall of Western civilization.
Ironically, the people who will suffer the least under Cheeto Jesus were the ones who figured out the con.
Do you think it had to do with the fact they were the last generation forced to take three courses in Civics? Nowadays, our public schools teach one course and the teachers are afraid to discuss political and social issues because they are not sure their school or district leaders would support them if parents expressed concerns.
The morale is when Boomers start yelling at clouds, maybe you should start checking the sky for acid rain or incoming nukes.
Here’s to Darwin winning the rematch.
Sources:
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