MAY IS ‘NATIONAL EMBARRASSING MEDICAL MOMENTS MONTH!’
None of the Characters in This ‘Embarrassing Medical Moments’ Story are Me, Except Me
During 30 years in the ER I’ve seen some shit-adjacent shit
“There’s a what! in your fundamental aperture, Your Honor?”
I never used this line, mostly because I enjoyed being continuously employed, but I was sorely tempted, many times.
Ditto for “get a grip and keep it.”
Or, “shop for insertion items with flared bases.”
I’m not being “judgy”. Within some obvious guidelines, put what you want where you want it. However IMHO, whatever you stick wherever you want to stick it, it shouldn’t land you in the ER.
As I said, “get a grip.” And, perhaps plan ahead a bit. After that, it’s ALL up to you.
In my career as an Emergency Doc I’ve encountered patients with all kinds of things moldering in all kinds of places. Here are some of their butt-related stories.
The rectal screwdriver
Nope, not my favorite drink either.
So, let’s see, you were wandering naked in the garage at 3AM, slipped and fell, and lodged a…