Of Movies And Melons
The true story of a fool
So on a cold winter night, I sez to the Missus, “Let’s watch the movie.”
“What’dya get?” she asked. Back in the dark ages, we needed to rent videotapes from a store and bring them home. It’s a wonder we ever watched anything.
“Nobody’s Fool,” I answered. “You know, the one with Paul Newman, Bruce Willis, and Melanie Griffith.”
“Yeah, the one Rick Russo wrote.” In our house, we didn’t often know the author of the entertainment, but this movie was different. Richard Russo and the missus were from the same upstate NY town. He was “Rick,” a friend of her brother, and also an escapee from the no-longer prosperous town, just like the missus. So she was looking forward to seeing it.
The display of limited resolution flashed “12:00, 12:00, 12:00” until I popped the clunky tape into the player. Soon it said “Play” in weirdly stilted letters. We settled in to enjoy the movie.
In one of the greatest moments in cinema, Paul Newman banters with Melanie Griffith, who wears a formless sweatshirt. Escalating the titillating conversation, Melanie reaches down and quickly pulls her sweatshirt up over her head, revealing her unrestrained breasts.
Just like Paul Newman, both the missus and I were shocked. “Wow!” she said. “I wish mine looked like that.”
Immediately my brain buzzed, “Oh no, please help me, don’t let me do it, zipper my mouth, I can’t really be doing this, DON’T SAY IT, DON’T SAY IT!”
But I replied, “So do I.”
The winter night became much colder.
Now it’s your turn to show your melons.
