Have a bitter Mother’s Day!
On Behalf of Motherless Non-Mothers on Mother’s Day
Don’t wish me Happy Mother’s Day just because I’m old and fat
My mom has been gone now for twenty years. No, I didn’t accidentally lose her at the mall. She died after a stroke following sepsis that began in her gallbladder.
I know exactly where she is currently located — six feet under at a cemetery in mid-Michigan. Nice accommodations, but the ambiance is lacking.
I was her youngest child of four girls, an “accidental” straggler who “surprised” her at age 43 after her doctor told my parents they could go at it like rabbits because she was “too old” to get pregnant. Now, that’s some stellar advice. Not.
At age 56, I haven’t birthed any children and seriously doubt I will, especially since I am old, dried up, barren, and I have zero interest in being a mom. If I get the sudden desire to have a kid, I have more than 20 nieces and nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews, and great-great-nieces and great-great nephews I can borrow to get the maternal urge out of my system.
Two of my nephews are older than me, so I will be sure not to choose either of them because they are likely in diapers again at their age, and I’m not into that. Just sayin’.
