POLITICAL SATIRE. THAT MEANS IT ISN’T TRUE.
Pass the Affordable Drug Act
Save ski bums from devastating self-awareness.
The Affordable Drug Act within the Build Back Better plan will be a life changer for ski bums. The average ski bum spends $1200/month on edibles and smokables. In addition, they incur monthly expenses of $600 for munchies and $500 to chip in for rent and utilities for the house they share with a dozen other ski bums.
“ski bums find themselves in a unique position of unsuitability to sustain any paid position”
While there is an acute worker shortage in ski country and every business is hiring and raising wages in a desperate attempt to attract applicants, ski bums find themselves in a unique position of unsuitability to sustain any paid position for an extended period. Unused college savings, TikTok, and, for the lucky few, trust funds subsidize their soaring expenses. This money won’t last forever, forcing ski bums to make extreme changes to their lifestyles and examine their life choices. They are far too fragile and immature to deal effectively with these realities.
The Affordable Drug Act can’t come soon enough for these struggling members of society. The act would provide hundreds of dollars every month for high-quality drugs.
Savings could also pay for:
- Gas so they can find awesome stashes of untracked powder
- Equipment tunes
- Beard trims
- Craft beer
These activities put money right back into the local economy.
The cost to keep ski bums supplied with high-quality drugs is far less than society would have to spend on years of treatment for their depression if they realized they weren’t born with innate entitlements.
Urge your representatives in congress to vote for the Build Back Better plan, including the Affordable Drug Act, in order to save our local ski bums from the devastating effects of self-awareness.
Note: this is a parody, a work of satire, humor even. There isn’t anything in the Build Back Better plan to provide drugs for ski bums. I know, because I checked.
