COUPLES THERAPY

SHE SAID YES! (Just not to the question you think I asked.)

Keeping your marriage fresh and spicy

Would you PLEASE close the bathroom door when you do that? * Photo by Pablo Hermoso on Unsplash

Hey sweethearts! It’s that time of year again: love is in the air and hopeless romantics everywhere are preparing to drop to one knee with a Richter scale-shattering jolt to ask for their dearly beloved’s hand in holy matrimony.

But what comes after? Any numb nuts can dupe their soul mate into accepting a marriage proposal. I should know. All you need is a contrived setting, a few sugary words, and a shiny object to mesmerize them and cloud their judgment long enough to squeeze that glorious syllable out of them.

Assuming your hot air balloon doesn’t drift into high voltage lines, incinerating all aboard; and your partner doesn’t maim you for making multiple references to your ex in your speech; and you don’t have to perform the Heimlich maneuver to eject the engagement ring from your lover’s esophagus because they failed to spot it sparkling at the bottom of their Champagne flute before draining it in a single swig, Bob’s your uncle.

Sadly, many couples spend their entire marriages desperately trying to relive that fleeting euphoric high point of their relationship, only to fail repeatedly and live unhappily ever after.