There’s no such thing as a bad idea, or is there…?
Social Mediation (or a Lack Thereof)
The Cutting Edge of Cutting Edge
“Billy, do you have those spreadsheets done yet?” demanded Mr. Flarbminster.
“Y-yes, sir!” Billy replied.
“Good, let me see them,” said Flarbminster.
Billy hands them over to his superior and drifts away from his boss. He heard a commotion in a boardroom and found himself amid a significant company meeting. Unconscious of where he was walking, he realized that the room was as silent as a Chaplin movie and all eyes were on him.
“You must be the industry expert we’ve been waiting for to help direct our move into being a social media platform,” someone said from the back of the room to break the silence.
Needing to think quickly, Billy said something that he thought he was going to regret immediately.
“Yes! I am that person, and I have a plethora of ideas to share with you all,” stated Billy confidently.
An awkward silence took over the room for a moment, but Billy took charge before it got too stiff.
“Okay, so E.T. couldn’t possibly phone home with all the messaging apps out there today, therefore I’ve got many ideas for more platforms to share with you all.
There’s Lacebook, like Facebook but for avid shoe-wearers. I’ve got Quitter, like Twitter but for people who have commitment issues. There’s Instapound, like Instagram but for UK populations to facilitate their banking. There’s Deaddit, like Reddit but for the deceased. I’ve got a banger in Napchat. It’s like Snapchat but for people who text in their sleep. SinkedIn is just like LinkedIn, but it would exist only for those who have suffered from boating accidents to network. LikLok is exactly like TikTok, but it’s for people to share reels of themselves committing to licking the locks on anyone else’s property, such as door locks, padlocks, school locker locks, Goldilocks, or even Gilderoy Lockhart. Are you looking for a platform to upload and watch other people’s content? Well, make sure you’re a cow first because only those are eligible to use MooTube. I’ve also got Fumblr for you. It’s for those who are just too goddamn clumsy. You’ve heard of WhatsApp, but now I present to you WhyApp which allows users to message each other and collectively wonder why they have the app. If you’re familiar with Slack, then you’ll love Slack, it’s like Slack but for slackers only. I’m on it, can’t you tell? Lastly, there’s MyCase, it’s similar to MySpace but it’s geared more toward people with legal issues or have fun stories about their briefcases.
Any comments, questions, or concerns?”
Everyone stood up and gave Billy a standing ovation.
The governing board was so impressed with his ideas that they put them all on the market just to see them all fail… except for Slack, that one took off better than anyone would’ve ever expected.
