BACK TO SCHOOL WOES

Teacher Throws Fidget Spinner Like a Goddamn Ninja Star

And the staff room applauds

Kristine Laco
Doctor Funny
Published in
3 min readOct 5, 2023

--

Way to go, Teach! Photo by Ainara Oto on Unsplash

Covid increased anxiety in children and many mental health practitioners have gone back to some tried-and-true measures to quell the wiggles of small people with big attitudes.

Re-enter — Fidget Spinners.

Again.

I know.

However it happened, children are back at school and back to not listening to their teachers. Look, it seemed like a good idea to get the little bastards off TikTok to give them back their confiscated spinners from 2017. Then they were eight and when you took something away, they got mad and forgot about it. The spinners sat in the drawer with the flip phones and sanitizer bottles filled with vodka.

Okay, partially filled.

Now teachers all over North America are experiencing a fresh problem. Spinners are in every available hand. The kids appear to be spinning one hand and filming with the other, and the general whir and swipe in the classroom is driving teachers mad.

I asked one young man, an 8th-grade student they call Spinmaster, to show me a trick. He taught me how to do the Hand Twist, the Around the Back, and the Spinner Swap which was a complicated…

--

--

Kristine Laco
Doctor Funny

My middle finger is my favorite. Satire is my jam. Don’t follow if Laco-intolerant. BE COOL--SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER eepurl.com/hqpXiv