Settle down, Ponytail

The 10th Circle of Hell Is This Public Library Writers’ Circle

It reeks of piss and desperation

(Not pictured: Old Bryan Cranston, Late Woman, & Me) This abomination was made in Canva.

I should have known it would be disappointing, like so many things in life that look great and turn out disappointing.

Subway sandwiches
Fondant icing
Losing your virginity to Jesse P. on prom night

The woman leading the Writers’ Circle of Hell is a 158-year-old named Gladys who claims to be an editor but crafts her emails as one unending punctuationless string of words like a voice-to-text message from my teen.

Mom I forgot my homework I’m coming home at lunch to print it oh wait I just remembered I don’t need it until tomorrow but Jessica is going to send it to me I got an extension and I’m going to Lucas’s house after school I lost my water bottle my lunch smelled weird so I threw it out can you Uber me McDonald’s check out this meme

What did Gladys edit exactly, our local Chinese restaurant menu where the chef highly recommends the Hand groped lamb and Spicy noodles with diced children in black bean sauce?

I arrive early, masterfully dodging bedtime duties at home, and select the seat closest to the exit. Even the circle of hard plastic chairs…