LET THERE BE LAUGHTER

The Bible but With Better Narration

Genesis: the absolutely unhinged edition

Some people do like to take offence. I hope you’re not one of them. Image by mdjaff on Freepik

In the beginning, the universe was basically nothing. Not even any wifi. It was totally void¹.

So, pure consciousness, or God² for short, rolled up Its sleeves and said, “I know, let’s build something epic.”

God had only ever known oneness, so He/She/It/They had to grasp the concept of two, and this meant the first inventions were very black and white. Or up and down.

God is obviously not male or female. But it’s going to sound all wrong if I keep putting He/She/It/They. Henceforth, I’ll just put “He” because I’ve been groomed that way. Maybe I’ll randomly change to “She” or “They” to keep you on your toes.

God started by making the up and the down and thought about calling this creation “Near Death Haven”.

But then He remembered the duality thing and changed it to “Heaven and Earth”, which is an anagram of Near Death Haven. God loves anagrams.

With the bare bones in place, God was ready to start building and She had a 7-step action plan.

Step One: LIGHT

“Let there be light,” He said. And light exploded into existence with photons careering themselves…