WRITERS ON THE STORM

The Doors’ “Light My Fire” Working Draft

People are strange. Lyrics are stranger.

Gregg Siegel
Doctor Funny

--

“Fire, Tire, Choir, Liar, Dryer, Supplier, Cry uh…Shit, this is hard.” Photo by Calum MacAulay on Unsplash

You know that it would be untrue

You know that I would be a liar

If I was to say to you

-Girl, you’re not my heart’s desire

-My love, I’m hating your attire

-No I’m not screwing your sister Maya

-Babe, I like it when you make me cry, uh

-Girl, we couldn’t get much higher

-A rhyming dictionary I should acquire

-A long organ intro sure would inspire

-Something else that sounds like fire?

Come on, baby, light my fire

Come on, baby, light my fire

Try to set the night on fire

The time to hesitate is through

-So let’s put our clothing in the dryer

-Now sex is going to transpire

-No time for berries in the briar

-Let’s go and call my drug supplier

-You’re screwing Jim, you can’t deny, uh

-No time to wallow in the mire

-Too late to preach it to the choir

-These lyrics sound like a nursery rhyme, uh

-They better buy me that new amplifier

-Something else that rhymes with fire

Try now we can only lose

-And our love be like a burning tire

-And our love’s flame sadly expire

-And the situation will become so dire

-And our love become a funeral pyre

-Rhyming stuff is hard, why don’t you fuckin’ try, uh

-And go to England because there they have a shire

-Cause you’re a liar liar pants on fire

-Like in Spanish beach is called a playa

-And I’ll be here all alone reading Palefire

-Cause Jim he slept with Maya prior

-Is there a bass player we can hire?

-Jeez, can the lyric be something other than “light my fire?” More direct maybe? Could use “No time to wallow in the muck?” “And our love get hit by a speeding truck?” “I find kissing you, like, really yuck”. Ask Jim.

Come on, baby, light my fire

Come on, baby, light my fire

Try to set the night on fire, yeah

--

--

Gregg Siegel
Doctor Funny

Gregg Siegel is a freelance copywriter, former freelance jokewriter for several late night shows and a competitive punner. Yes, that’s a thing.