The Patient Who Won’t Pay Me
And took me for a ride
In my clinical practice, I often get patients who are rather tricky with their complaints and sometimes reluctant to pay my consultation charges. This is a story about such a patient. I had one such patient who won't pay me for my services.
This is a true story that took place about 20 years back. In my medical practice of 35 years, I have had many such occasions when patients have duped me by consulting for their problem and not paying for it. This is one such story to regale you.
One sultry morning in May, 5 years ago, entered this patient who had a flair to spin stories regarding her illness. She had outwitted me more than once before and got away without paying me. So, when this girl entered my cabin, I mentally made a note “ This time I will get her to pay me, come what may”.
“Hi, Doc. I am back” Hearing this familiar voice, I was sure I was going to be conned today. It was the same old Joan D’Costa [name changed for maintaining privacy] again, a young lady in her 20s’.
“ Hello Joan, what brings you here today?” I quipped in.
“You see Doc, I have this pain and tingling sensation like a ball rolling down from my buttocks to the back of my knee” she replied.
“Well, that’s interesting. How and when do you get this feeling?” I asked.
“Yeah, this happens especially after I get up after sitting for a long time. Doc, do you think I have some cancer or something?” she asked earnestly.
“Aha, ha,” I said. “And for what purpose you may be sitting for so long?”
“You see doc, I have got CKD,” she said. “ You got what?” I was surprised to hear this because for us doctors CKD means chronic kidney disease.
“CKD - short for Chronic Kindle Disorder,” she replied smiling slyly. “You see doc, I have this Amazon kindle with me. I have downloaded many books on it and I keep reading those for long periods.”
“ And pray, how long do you sit while reading, and in what posture?” I asked.
“ With my legs raised up,” she replied. Just as shown in the picture below.
“For how much time?” I asked again. “ Maybe an hour or two” was the quick reply.
“Ok…. So that’s the problem. Look here Joan, you have bills pending which you haven’t paid for more than 6 months now.” I said, all the time keeping an eye on her. “The treatment for this is lengthy - may take a month or two. If you pay your past dues immediately, I’ll start the treatment right away.”
Joan waited for a few seconds before replying. She got up abruptly and said “Bye Doc, see you later when I have money” and simply walked away. I just couldn’t believe that my money just walked out of the door and out of my reach forever. What the f**k - I was taken for a ride again!
That was the last time I ever saw Joan. Maybe she was out there somewhere conning another doctor!
