This is how to grapple with Apple
Thinking Inside The Box
Yes, the rectangular one in our pockets
On June 29th, 2007, the 1st generation iPhone stole the hearts of the nation… well, every nation around the world. Back then it was something innovative and fresh. There was nothing like it. With the innovations to the iPhone becoming much more incremental as the 16th generation is on the horizon, I have a few crazy ideas to give the iPhone some more kick to its enhancements.
#1. Custom Text Message Timestamping
It’s kind of riffing on the feature that some e-mail platforms have where you can schedule when you want an message to be sent, especially if it’s en masse.
For the iPhone, you can see when a text message was sent by pulling it to the left. So while you type, your message would appear on the left side, opening space for a place to toggle the send time on the right.
You could set it to send way in the past for the purpose of an alibi, if that’s what you’re into. Otherwise, you could set it to the great unwritten future when you might forget that you nervously sent a text asking someone out on a date.
#2. Hologram Projection
Holograms are just cool! Plus, with this feature that you can turn off and on, you can project the screen of your iPhone in mid-air and get a high resolution quality.
Squeeze or pull on the corners of the hologram, and it will change size to your liking. You can go from texting your friends to come over to watch a movie on your hologram, to using that same hologram as a home theatre!
#3. Siri, Tax Pro (STP)
This optional default app would be pre-installed on all newer generations. This app would allow you to manipulate the Siri technology to do your taxes for you. However, when it is desired to activate by speech, you must say “Siri, please do my taxes, and don’t evade them.” Multiple tests have seen Siri have an aptitude for tax evasion when that parameter isn’t included.
#4. BlueWave
This wireless technology would allow users to stream music or any kind of audio directly into their brain. Just by picking up on your brainwaves, your device can access the frequency that your brainwaves are on, when enabled.
You can cut out the middle man, and just stream your favourite artist’s worst album directly to your primary auditory cortex. No one will need a set of headphones ever again!
#5. Anti-Gravity Stabilization
This hands-free mode allows users to suspend their device in the air while they might have their hands full with this or that. Who needs pockets when your phone can conveniently float in front of you?
With the revolutionary BlueWave technology, users can move their device in Anti-Gravity Stabilization mode with their mind. The iPhone can now allow users to have telekinetic abilities.
In my personal opinion, enhancements like these would make for big disruptions in the tech industry. For all we know, they could be in the works for the iPhone 17!
