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Trump University Docs Uncovered: The Women’s Studies 101 Syllabus
You’ve barely gone anywhere, baby
The following includes excepts of the newly-leaked Women’s Studies 101 syllabus from now-defunct Trump University, as well as selected chapter titles from To Serve Man by Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein, part of the course’s required reading list.
This was the only women’s studies course offered at Trump U. It was taught by a man.
Syllabus excerpts:
COURSE DESCRIPTION: Women’s Studies 101 is designed to demonstrate how a woman’s brain functions much differently than a man’s brain. While it is critically important to understand specifically how women are inferior to men, this course will show that women can still serve a purpose in society when properly trained and disciplined.
PREREQUISITES: $1200
OBJECTIVES:
Upon successful student completion of this course, students will be able to:
- Quickly calculate how much money it will take to silence or subdue a woman who is displaying signs of preparing to assert her rights.
- Interpret the often hysterical language women use and translate it into logical, male discourse.
- Navigate the complex new rules about where men are and are not allowed to grab women without their consent.
- Practice early identification of women who are “good to go” vs. women who will never “give it up.”
- Use state-of-the-art AI aging technology to find out if your girlfriend or wife is going to get fat and ugly in the future.
REQUIRED TEXTS:
- Roofie Coladas and Spanish Fly, by Bill Cosby
- To Serve Man, by Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein
- Bitch’ll Die for Me, by Sean “Diddy” Combs
Selected chapter titles from To Serve Man:
Chapter 1: She’ll thank you later
Chapter 4: How no still means yes
Chapter 6: The inverse relationship between breast size and brain size
Chapter 7: Get back in the kitchen
Chapter 10: You remind me of my hot daughter
Chapter 13: 100 prenuptial agreement templates
Chapter 14: Chicks between 18 and 25 years old: The sweet spot
Chapter 18: Did I say you were allowed to talk to that guy?
Chapter 21: 100 go-to alibis
Chapter 26: A quick lesson in slut-shaming victims
Chapter 30: The patriarchy will survive
Epilogue: #metoo movement or Hitler’s Nazi Germany?
Note: Women’s Studies 101 was also the only class to distribute birth control gummies labeled as Welch’s Fruit Snacks to every student on the first day of class.
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