Trump’s In-Court Farts — A Whole New Love Language

SBD no longer means what you think it does

Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬
Doctor Funny
Published in
4 min readMay 9, 2024


Lingering long after the love is gone. Photo by Darpan on Unsplash

Manhattan’s Master Blaster, currently appearing in Judge Juan Merchan’s court, is much more clever than people give him credit for.

Many believe, wrongly, *Rump’s odious in-court offerings stem from stress and a scrawny sphincter. Nothing could be farter from the truth.

In much the same way that so-called normals deliver love messages with their love languages, the Carrot-Colored Crop Duster delivers his love notes on a self-devised fart scale from Mushroom Cloud to SBD and everywhere in between. The Foundering Farter is nothing if not nuanced in his gas-based communications.

This is becoming increasingly, and distressingly, clear as The Terrible Tooter’s trial of the stenchery lingers in our collective consciousness.

First, a recap of the love lingo most use:

💌 Words of affirmation

💌 Quality time

💌 Physical touch

💌 Acts of service

💌 Receiving gifts

And now, *Rump’s take on these tender expressions, in fart form:



Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬
Doctor Funny

The “MD” & “um” in Medium, and the “er” in wisenheimer | Doctor Funny editor/czar | Sultan of satire | disgraced former parking lot attendant