THE DIY CHRONICLES

Washing Dishes in the Bathtub

How I conquered one more challenge of living alone

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! (Photo by the author)

It all started when I needed a hammer.

Why I needed a hammer is not important. Sometimes you just need to hit things.

Now, my hammer — which I love above all my tools because it was left by a handyman who never returned to claim it and it’s much, much better than any hammer I have previously owned, and to this day the guy is probably like, “Man, I wish I knew where I left that hammer, it was such a great hammer” — was under the kitchen sink.

So I reached under the sink and I grabbed my hammer.

It was wet.

Hammers shouldn’t be wet. I can’t imagine any scenario in which you would need a wet hammer.

My hammer, along with other assorted accoutrements, lives in a bucket under my sink and thank you, baby Jesus, for the bucket.

Because when I actually bent down and looked, there was about three inches of nasty, weird-colored water in said bucket. God only knows how long it had been there. Months? Years? Decades?

I wish I could say I was smart enough to always keep a bucket under my questionable plumbing, but it was sheer luck, which has now become a life…