LESSONS FROM NATURE
Winning Strategy to Handle Stress at Work
An empirically proven way to a stress-free work
💣 Alice died when trying to meet an important deadline.
💣 Joan had to write an apology about her team losing few millions.
💣 Ulrich didn’t get a raise due to negative feedback about dealing with crises.
Sound familiar?
We all have seen or experienced stressful and challenging situations. Yet, not enough literature, training, and best practices exist about coping with them. Luckily, multiple people around the world have independently found a solution to this.
The Solution
The answer is a technique no one talks about — The Vanish Method. It is inspired by nature and backed by extensive research. Most importantly, it is already used by millions secretly.
Nobel Committee will have a hard time deciding who is the winner of next year’s Prize for Stress Reduction.
The approach is extremely simple and incredibly effective. Once you sense that things are not going well you must disappear. Vanish, evaporate, evanescence — choose a name you are most comfortable with.
Personally, I don’t like to evaporate. I am scared I won’t be able to condense.
There is one essential principle. You have to be very delicate. Vanishment is more an art than a science. It should be practiced frequently to be mastered. Here are modus operandi to start with.
Getting Sick
No one ever got fired for getting seriously ill. Works for any situation and timeframe. When dealing with slowly approaching deadlines simply inform your colleagues that you are gradually getting ill. In case of urgent situations, start shouting “Pain, pain, ouch, ach”, and run away.
Recover when the deadline has passed and the job has been done by others.
Internet Interruption
Works best for tiny challenges when working from home. You know what to do with your router and Airplane mode. No connection, no problems.
Return back after some time. If the case is not yet resolved, the Internet can go down again. Everyone understands how unstable it is nowadays.
Loss or Theft of Equipment
Long-term solution. Mostly used for sizable troubles. You can’t do your job without the equipment. Especially when working from home. Waste containers come to the rescue. You can safely lose your laptop there. Not to be exercised frequently due to significant costs.
Toilet Escape
That is a trick for the office. Just lock yourself up and wait. Even the smallest difficulties can cause serious stress. You can avoid it. Stay as long as needed.
Camouflage
Exotic and experimental technique. Always be dressed in the colors of the office walls. Slowly move to the closest one if you sense a rising conflict. Stay calm and silent as long as needed. To be used when Toilet Escape is impossible or already used by teammates.
Sometimes you can allow yourself to vanish without a reason. A good enough explanation will come up once you need to provide it. There is only one known case when a disappearing person didn’t have an excuse. Even then colleagues decided that he’d had a nervous breakdown and showed compassion.
Inspired by Nature
According to popular belief, the ostrich has been using The Vanish Method for ages. The bird is hiding only the head. Sadly, humans are more evolved and need to hide their bodies like chameleons.
Not everyone is a fighter. You can be a flighter. There should be diversity in stress handling.
Backed by Research
The World Statistics Bank clearly shows that deadlines, problems, challenges, or crises are effectively solved by colleagues who haven’t learned the modern Vanish Method yet. Do you want to be like them and cause yourself stress?
If you ever get worried about an evaporation overdose, remember that no person on Earth could blame you for getting sick, losing the internet, or getting stuck in uncomfortable places.
