Thought Twist #4 — Black and white thinking

Seeing things as all-or-nothing, good or bad, right or wrong.

In this installment of “Thought Twist! 11 Everyday Thinking Errors that Sabotage the Plot if your Life”, we explore Black and white thinking (also known as dichotomous, or All-or-nothing thinking). This one is pretty self-explanatory. During this act of mental magic people often see things as good or bad, or right or wrong with no middle ground and no gray area. It involves thinking in extremes. This way of thinking is problematic because it causes you to never really see circumstances without bias. For example, you may see yourself as either a success or a failure and if you are not perfect, you feel like a complete failure.

• “If my book does not make the New York Times Best Sellers list, then it’s a total failure.”

• “I didn’t finish writing that paper so it was a total waste of time.”

• “I missed my workout yesterday so there’s no point in me even playing.”

• “I was denied the business loan. I guess my dream of starting a business is dead.” (First of all, if you are giving up that quickly, business ownership may not be for you. Second of all, my dad and his former business partners were turned down for business financing 9 times before they got that one “yes” that allowed them to buy an entire corporation and ultimately change their lives forever.)

When I notice people using black-or-white thinking I often find myself screaming “HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT?” It’s literally like watching a magic show. One moment you are watching your friend rejoice over losing 20 lbs on her new diet. The magician covers her with one of those silky magic show sheets. Then the magician snatches off the sheet only to reveal your friend crying about not losing as much as the diet promised and calling herself fat! What the heck just happened here?

When you say that things will “always” or “never” happen, you risk poisoning your own thinking and turning the negate thoughts into a self-fulfilling prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that a person makes that they unknowingly cause to come true as a result of the accompanying behaviors. It’s when you predict that something bad will happen in your life, then subconsciously do things to make that bad thing actually happen. For example, saying that you always do bad on tests then not studying, which makes you continue to do bad on tests.

Thought Untwisted:

Look for the different shades of gray! No not the “50” from that crazy movie, but those that you find when you think outside the box. In order to untwist the black-and-white thinking cognitive distortion, you need to take into account other interpretations and viewpoints of different situations — and I know this is often easier said than done.

If you notice yourself falling into the all or nothing thinking trap, try looking at the situation on a scale from 1–100. Then scoring how much you did right versus how much you did wrong (or how much the other person did right versus how much they did wrong). Try to be objective! By focusing on the positives rather than the negatives you can have a healthier perspective and be more productive. Also, try to find alternative solutions to your situation. If someone tells you no, find a creative way to work around their no!

Up Next

Thought Twist #5 — Catastrophizing— Blowing things out of proportion by making them larger than life.

If you enjoyed this post, you may enjoy more of the series: Thought Twist: 11 Everyday Thinking Errors that Sabotage the Plot of your Life. In my blog series, I explain where these cognitive distortions originated, then provide additional examples and solutions for each thinking error. Want to know as soon as each part in the series is released? Just follow my blog!