Member-only story
The Perils of Understanding
And how your prejudices can help you understand better
I once worked as a therapist with a deaf female client in my office by having her type what she wanted to say to me, as I typed to her. I didn’t know much sign language but was eager to show off what little I had. As she wrote about herself, I kept making the sign that I thought meant I understand. She looked uncomfortable until we were able to figure out my mistake.
The sign I kept making was for I’m horny. I could have been in big trouble, but we sorted it out. We both made mistakes leading to the confusion.
The mistake she made was when she jumped to a conclusion, without thinking for a moment that there might be some other meaning to the sign I made. She thought my sign had to mean I’m horny because that’s what it means in American Sign Language. It didn’t occur to her that the sign I made only meant I wasn’t fluent in American Sign Language.
I was mistaken by the sign and mistaken in believing I could use sign language to communicate with her. I should have stuck to typing. But, the most serious mistake was in saying and believing I understood when I didn’t.
This was before I learned about hermeneutics.
