Day 31 — January 31st 2021
Escape to Danger and Crater of Needles
Escape to Danger (The Web Planet — Episode Three) and Crater of Needles (The Web Planet — Episode Four)
When I first got into Doctor Who, I had a fairly scatter-gun approach to which stories I picked up on DVD. The Aztecs was, I’m fairly sure, my first Hartnell story, and I think I probably picked up The Dalek Invasion of Earth quite early on. But The Web Planet was the first Hartnell story to hit DVD after I’d become a fan. I remember reading about it in Doctor Who Magazine — for the first few years I didn’t have anything to do with online fandom, so all my news came from DWM. And even then I only started picking it up once Eccleston came along and Doctor Who sent from being something I thought was pretty cool to being something I was obsessed by — and picking up the DVD a couple of days after release was super exciting. It felt special, somehow.
I can still list off most of the special features now, including William Russell’s reading of The Lair of Zarbi Supremo, which for some reason has stuck in my head for 16 years, to the point I can remember exactly where I was sat when I listened to it for the first time. I can’t, however, remember my thoughts on watching the story itself for the first time.
Anyway, I picked up all the DVDs eventually. By the end of 2005 I’d got most of the then-available DVDs, and started picking up some VHS tapes of the ones I didn’t think would be out for ages. I used to sit and go through my copy of Doctor Who — The Legend picking out which stories I most wanted to watch, and then trying to guess how likely they were to appear on DVD in the next year or so. At one point, I remember working out that the DVD range wouldn’t be complete until about 2020, but then the series proved so popular that they upped the schedule and they were all out by about 2014.
There are some stories which I’ve bought over and over again. Dragonfire was one I got on VHS (Because the Dragon itself looked awesome in a photo I’d seen). I dutifully bought Dragonfire again when the DVD came along. And I’ve preordered the blu-ray set of Season 24, so I’ll have bought it a third time before the year is through. Maybe it’s a Doctor Who fan thing, but I’m a sucker for buying them over and over. I’ll buy all the Collection blu-rays, even though I’ve already got all the DVDs, and some of the tapes as well. Set up a direct debit if you like, I’m there on Day One.
(Actually, I signed up to BritBox when I started this marathon, because it’s easier than having to put on the DVDs or the Blu-Rays, which is ridiculous, but true. It felt like going back to the stone age when The Reign of Terror wasn’t on there and I had to get the DVD out of the cupboard! Anyway, Dragonfire is on there, so I suppose I’ve bought it four times, now, and one of them in the form of a monthly subscription. Ooh, they’ve got me good. Someone insert that ‘Shut up and take my money’ meme here.)
All of this is a very lengthy pre-amble (hey, I’ve not got much to say about the episodes today, so I had to give you something) to say that I’ve even been suckered into buying the stories on vinyl. It made sense for the first one — The Daleks’ Master Plan presented in a beaturiful vinyl box set? Sign me up. yes please. But I even went so far as to snap up The Web Planet on vinyl the day it was released. It’s bonkers, really. It’s a story for which every episode survives. It doesn’t need a narrated soundtrack. It’s not a story I’m ever likely to voluntarily think ‘I’m going to listen to that one this evening’. And yet I still bought it and wanted it on my shelf!
(Truth be told, I’ll buy any and every 1960s story on vinyl. Every one of them. Bizarrely, my interest vanishes after The War Games, and I’ve not even even slightly tempted by either Destiny of the Daleks or The Horror of Fang Rock.)
Anyway, all this to say that having found myself so bored by The Web Planet yesterday, I decided to shake things up a bit today by finally taking the shrink wrap off the vinyl and giving that a whirl instead. I thought it was worth trying, on the off chance that it might make the story more palatable for me.
And has it? Well… the short answer is no. And, actually, the long answer is no, too.
Something I did enjoy today which I wouldn't have gotten from watching the episode is the way that Maureen O’Brien says ‘Doktah Hoo’ very dramatically when introducing the episode. That was fun. The rest of the episode was not.
Oh, I’ve tried. Honestly I have. I was so determined to find something to enjoy today but I’ve failed entirely. Ian’s escape from the Animius sounds vaguely exciting on audio only, but I found myself more distracted by the fact that O’Brien’s narration appears to have been sped up throughout that sequence. I can’t tell if it’s because she had too much to say or if they were trying to inject some energy into the scenes.
The one thing I will give it; the voice of the Animus sounds genuinely creepy. You appreciate that more just listening, I think, as you’re not distracted by William Hartnell sticking his head in the big hairdryer (there’s another positive note — his description of the Animius’ communication device as a hairdryer is fun, and it’s another thing I like to imagine Hartnell made up in rehearsals). A 2/10 for Escape to Danger.
When I flipped the LP over and did Crater of Needles, I’m not sure I can even tell you what happened. There was some running around. Doctor Who got very angry with the Animus about something or other, found a way to overcome the creature’s hypnotic control, but then might have been overcome anyway. Or he might just be bluffing. I can’t really tell, and I don’t really care.
I did enjoy in this episode the introduction of the Optra, because the actors are having a great time playing the part. I was particularly keen on the one who screams ‘Throw them in the fire chasm!’ upon meeting Barbara.
When I did my last marathon, I set myself a rule to never give an episode a ‘1/10’. I decided right at the start that every episode is worth at least a 2, given the work that went into it. But I’ve not set that rule this time around, and I’m sorry to say that Crater of Needles is getting my first ever 1/10. The Web Planet just isn’t doing anything for me this time around, and I’ll be glad to reach the end of it tomorrow.
