Neurofeedback Therapy Session #2
I was suppose to go to my second neurofeedback therapy session in the morning. But since I was getting so much anxiety, I decided to reschedule it for later. I cannot say that I felt a drastic difference from the first session and was still skeptical about going back. But I promised I would stick it out for at least six sessions to finish this collection of articles on neurofeedback therapy, that stemmed from my very first session you can find on my main page called, “Neurofeedback Therapy”.
Dr. Hundley and I spoke on how severe my anxiety could be. From a 1–10 she asked me how I felt that morning. I responded with a seven. “That’s pretty high! I’m sure that cannot feel good for you.” as it didn’t. I have a lot of weird dreams that wake me up around 6:00 AM in the morning, which is when I texted her to cancel.
Then I began to wonder if neurofeedback therapy was making things worse. But since I usually get anxiety in the morning I canceled out that theory. The only question to myself was if their was any difference in my mental behavior that seemed to improve after the first session. My answer, a suble decrease in overall anxiety. But too suble to conclude that it was from my first nerofeedback therapy session.
We began the same process of doing a pre-test which relatively came out the same as the first session, if not even a little worse. “Hmm, it seems you have been really anxious today and it is showing up in your brain activity.” I expected this. But in my eyes, it seemed way too easy to just look at basic diagrams and come up with a conclusion to things going on in my brain. I ignored this thought as much as I could.
Dr. Hundley began to put thick gew and wires unto my head. I had recently washed my hair and regretted doing this since I would have to do it again after the session.
As she put the headphones into my ears the familiar music began to play. This time the session would be 30 minutes long. I looked at my phone and through a magazine, still wondering how this stuff really works or if it’s just a waste of cash. But I tried to remain as optimistic as possible to give it the benefit of the doubt. That’s the only way I will know if it truly works.
Once the session was over, we took a look at the post-test. My brain seemed to have improved, so she said I am responsive to treatment. Her explanation as to why was dull, which bothers me because it seems too easy to say such things. But I thanked her and rescheduled an appointment for the next week. This time in the afternoon, since I have a hard time getting up in the morning due to my anxiety.
After the first two days I had not noticed anything measurable. But three days passed and I was like, “wait a minute.” My anxiety had seemed to almost diminish! Was this out of my own accord or neurofeedback therapy?
I went to my counselor optimistic about the future. I did not have very many things to express to her except some rough patches I was having in my relationship, and even then I was able to handle them more gracefully. Ok, so I’m definitely looking forward to my 3rd neurofeedback session. I thought to myself.
Once my counseling session was over, I went over to a birthday party. I had a good time, but felt a little out of place when we began to play a game called “HeadsUp” and the category was on movies. Everyone seemed to know every movie out there while I akwardly didn’t know any and wondered how sheltered my life had really been growing up. I was also observing other people and couldn’t help but feel so distant from them with how my life had turned out in certain areas of my life. I felt an odd form of rejection from a world that I once loved and fit into.
The next day, I woke up more depressed then I’d ever been in months. This continued all the way up to my next neurofeedback therapy session, which I wasn’t even sure If I’d be able to attend with the blues I was experiencing and obsessive, irregular thoughts of hopelessness. Where did this come from? Neurofeedback…Is it doing worse than good? I wondered.
Check out the 3rd neurofeedback therapy session article on the “Does Neurofeedback Work” collection. Coming Soon
